It is blowout weekend in the NFL. Week 5 showcases such matchups as the Steelers v. Lions, Giants v. Redskins, Vikings v. Rams, and Jaguars v. Seahawks. There are 8 out of 14 games this week that had a 6 point favorite to open on Tuesday. There are other games that are close in the point spread that shouldn’t be. The Jets are a 2 point favorite on the road against Miami. They lost ugly against the Almighty Saints last week, so the odds-makers are giving Miami (who beat Jauron’s team bad last week) an extra boost. Also the Panthers are only 3 1/2 point favorite at home against a very bad Redskin team.
All the picks are pretty straight forward. The only line that surprises me is the 6 point dog Browns on the road versus Jauron’s team. I still picked Jauron’s team, but if I had to lay the points, I’d go with the Browns. Thank God I (hopefully) won’t have to watch this one on TV. Jauron needs to be fired. His career record of 58 and 79 is horrific. If you take away the Bears’ one winning season under him he is 45-76. That’s a winning percentage of .372. (Incidentally that’s one of those stats I’ve never understood. Wouldn’t his winning percentage be 37.2? Digression….) I pick football games better than he wins them! That’s for sure! I’m now 39-23 on the year, or .629% (Huh?! See!?) Expect Jauron’s team to have a very tough day at home versus the Browns.
This is such a lopsided weekend that I only picked one underdog. Inevitably I picked the wrong one (Broncos over The Patties). There will, no doubt be other upsets, while The Patties will likely cruise to victory. (Although, I wonder… if God favors the teams I hate as much as it seems, who wins when The Patties and the Broncos play?) All I know for sure this week is that the Almighty Saints won’t lose. Therefore, I refuse to pick against them. Actually, I may never pick against them again.
In the meantime, I’m going back to my reading, and my online poker playing, and my trying to find out the meaning of life… and how Dick Jauron still has a job.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
A Perfect Morning - Ruined.
Well, I knew I wasn’t going to have a perfect week for picks. I took the touchdown underdog Jets and the near touchdown underdog Chargers in the afternoon/evening games. Seriously I don’t know what it was thinking. Especially picking against the Saints. Drew Brees is the only football jersey this side of Flutie’s that I have ever owned on purpose. He’s an excellent quarterback on a good team and I shouldn’t even have begun to pick against him, even before hearing it from the “horse’s mouth” Saint’s fan how non-genius and anti-NFC my Jets pick really was. Okay, she didn’t really put it that way, but upon further review, that’s what my pick was. I have an extreme bias toward AFC teams in close call situations.
But there were two games that really surprised me, and were the only two games I lost in the morning. The Patties got it done against the Ravens. Why does this continue to surprise me when no one else in the world is surprised by it? Simple. My heart is stronger than my brain. Even though the Patties, good or not, keep pulling out these games that they should, in all probability lose, I simply cannot give them credit for having that sort of intestinal fortitude because I hate them so. It would the same thing that would make me pick the Raiders if the had won five straight games. As if. (Al Davis I hope you live forever!!)
And the Titans. Oh the Titans. Only you can figure a way to have Vince Young get a starting job in the NFL. Thank you for showing me how another team can be as mediocre as the Bills. Except, you know, you guys can make it to the playoffs. Has Jauron been fired yet? Nine and Five this week. Awful.
But there were two games that really surprised me, and were the only two games I lost in the morning. The Patties got it done against the Ravens. Why does this continue to surprise me when no one else in the world is surprised by it? Simple. My heart is stronger than my brain. Even though the Patties, good or not, keep pulling out these games that they should, in all probability lose, I simply cannot give them credit for having that sort of intestinal fortitude because I hate them so. It would the same thing that would make me pick the Raiders if the had won five straight games. As if. (Al Davis I hope you live forever!!)
And the Titans. Oh the Titans. Only you can figure a way to have Vince Young get a starting job in the NFL. Thank you for showing me how another team can be as mediocre as the Bills. Except, you know, you guys can make it to the playoffs. Has Jauron been fired yet? Nine and Five this week. Awful.
Monday, October 5, 2009
An Accidental Look into My Life in St. Paul
I am ten weeks into a temporary duty trip to LORAN Station St. Paul, Alaska. In this booming metropolis I haven’t had any trouble finding things to do. I’ve kept myself busy with puzzles, books, video games, online poker, and television. I’ve taken loads of pictures and been to many parts of this small island. I’ve even designated myself the driver of the bar crowd a time or two. Recently a good friend of mine sent me a 500 piece PEZ candy puzzle. (I don’t know, she collects PEZ dispensers and likes to torture her friends I guess.) I took a picture of the completed puzzle yesterday and, looking at the photo, I realized how comfortable I’ve grown in this little room of mine over the last 70 days.
In the photo there’s a lovely painting behind the puzzle. It was painted by my daughter Audrey on an 8x8 cotton canvas. It’s of a lovely green house with red tulip-looking-things in the front yard. There’s a bright blue, sunny sky over head, but it looks like there is a dark storm on the horizon. It’s an original. I have many original artworks in the room. One of my other favorites (hanging right above this piece, and also from Audrey) is a coloring with a note that reads “Dear Dad dog that beagle Dachshund. I Miis You”.
To the left in the photo is my snack shelf. I’ve got miniature Heath candy bars (my most-favoritest), some goldfish (on which I’m practicing the art of delayed gratification), chocolates, and a box of fabulous homemade cookies (with bits of Heath in there of course) made by my wife and children. There’s also a shoebox there with some Doritos in it.
Below the snack shelf I have The History of Pirates, a coffee table book my wife got me for my birthday. The camera usually sits on top of it. I’ve used the camera a ton, and hopefully I get around to posting more of the photos to this blog when I get near a decent Internet connection.
To the left of the puzzle box is my desk lamp. On its pedestal are Billy’s Poker Glasses and my card protector. Once he bought these glasses, my uncle Billy wore them every time he played poker. The first time I ever saw them was when he and my dad picked me up from the Vegas airport in 2008. I was in town to watch the two of them compete in the $1,500 buy-in event #2 of the World Series of Poker. Billy was starting in the second field on day 1B of the tournament, and that’s when I learned how important the sunglasses were to him.
Las Vegas has some of the best food for your money that you can find. They definitely have their trap spots where they fleece their customers with $8 drinks and $30 entrees. However, they make enough money from suckers who gamble that they can spread a buffet or a specialty restaurant and a poker player (especially the non-sucker type) can get a great deal and be stuffed by a t-bone at 8am.
The three of us suckers –ER I mean poker players enjoyed just such a meal at the Rio on Billy’s day one. Actually it was our routine for the entire time we were in town. We all stayed in the same room that trip and, after my dad’s woman-like getting ready rituals, we’d eat together. Now this was more of a pact between us rather than just a meal by necessity. You see, a poker player in Vegas might as well not sleep if he gets up early to have breakfast. It’s tough to be functional at an early hour when you’ve rousted yourself up after a cash game until 5am. But we did it each and every morning because above all, we were there to spend time together.
After our meal we went to join the women-folk at their breakfast. My grandma, mom, and sister were all in town as well. They weren’t on the same schedule as us and, let’s be honest, weren’t in the biggest hurry to go watch Billy play for 9 hours on end. Hence the separate breakfasts.
As the dawn of Billy’s poker day closed in we excused ourselves from the table. Billy, sitting next to me, reaches down toward the bench and suddenly jerks his hand and head up like there was a rattlesnake sitting there. Wide-eyed and open-mouthed he looks at my dad. “I lost my poker glasses!” Pure panic was in his voice as he was moments (and a freaking half-mile walk) away from his shot at glory. His dream that was playing in a World Series of Poker event was upon us, and he was a solider without his weapon!
I consider myself a lucky man. Along with the other things that God has blessed me with I’ve done some things that not many other people have ever been able to do. Heck, I’m writing this on St. Paul Island, Alaska. How many people have been here? I’ve also played poker against my uncle when he wasn’t wearing his poker glasses. He whopped me something good, and I’ll never forget that whopping. I knew he didn’t need those glasses. But I also know he needed those glasses. I can safely say that my dad and I, and a select few customers of the Rio that day, are some of the lucky few to ever see my uncle sprint like he was running from a tornado.
I wear the sunglasses nearly every time I play live now. They don’t really fit me great, so I just throw them on my head or my ball cap. I don’t really enjoy playing with sunglasses on anyway. The social aspect of poker is what I enjoy the most, and I hate put barriers in front of that. I also still use the card protector he gave me on that trip. These two items make me smile as I remember that shocked look on my uncle’s face that day.
In the photo there’s a lovely painting behind the puzzle. It was painted by my daughter Audrey on an 8x8 cotton canvas. It’s of a lovely green house with red tulip-looking-things in the front yard. There’s a bright blue, sunny sky over head, but it looks like there is a dark storm on the horizon. It’s an original. I have many original artworks in the room. One of my other favorites (hanging right above this piece, and also from Audrey) is a coloring with a note that reads “Dear Dad dog that beagle Dachshund. I Miis You”.
To the left in the photo is my snack shelf. I’ve got miniature Heath candy bars (my most-favoritest), some goldfish (on which I’m practicing the art of delayed gratification), chocolates, and a box of fabulous homemade cookies (with bits of Heath in there of course) made by my wife and children. There’s also a shoebox there with some Doritos in it.
Below the snack shelf I have The History of Pirates, a coffee table book my wife got me for my birthday. The camera usually sits on top of it. I’ve used the camera a ton, and hopefully I get around to posting more of the photos to this blog when I get near a decent Internet connection.
To the left of the puzzle box is my desk lamp. On its pedestal are Billy’s Poker Glasses and my card protector. Once he bought these glasses, my uncle Billy wore them every time he played poker. The first time I ever saw them was when he and my dad picked me up from the Vegas airport in 2008. I was in town to watch the two of them compete in the $1,500 buy-in event #2 of the World Series of Poker. Billy was starting in the second field on day 1B of the tournament, and that’s when I learned how important the sunglasses were to him.
Las Vegas has some of the best food for your money that you can find. They definitely have their trap spots where they fleece their customers with $8 drinks and $30 entrees. However, they make enough money from suckers who gamble that they can spread a buffet or a specialty restaurant and a poker player (especially the non-sucker type) can get a great deal and be stuffed by a t-bone at 8am.
The three of us suckers –ER I mean poker players enjoyed just such a meal at the Rio on Billy’s day one. Actually it was our routine for the entire time we were in town. We all stayed in the same room that trip and, after my dad’s woman-like getting ready rituals, we’d eat together. Now this was more of a pact between us rather than just a meal by necessity. You see, a poker player in Vegas might as well not sleep if he gets up early to have breakfast. It’s tough to be functional at an early hour when you’ve rousted yourself up after a cash game until 5am. But we did it each and every morning because above all, we were there to spend time together.
After our meal we went to join the women-folk at their breakfast. My grandma, mom, and sister were all in town as well. They weren’t on the same schedule as us and, let’s be honest, weren’t in the biggest hurry to go watch Billy play for 9 hours on end. Hence the separate breakfasts.
As the dawn of Billy’s poker day closed in we excused ourselves from the table. Billy, sitting next to me, reaches down toward the bench and suddenly jerks his hand and head up like there was a rattlesnake sitting there. Wide-eyed and open-mouthed he looks at my dad. “I lost my poker glasses!” Pure panic was in his voice as he was moments (and a freaking half-mile walk) away from his shot at glory. His dream that was playing in a World Series of Poker event was upon us, and he was a solider without his weapon!
I consider myself a lucky man. Along with the other things that God has blessed me with I’ve done some things that not many other people have ever been able to do. Heck, I’m writing this on St. Paul Island, Alaska. How many people have been here? I’ve also played poker against my uncle when he wasn’t wearing his poker glasses. He whopped me something good, and I’ll never forget that whopping. I knew he didn’t need those glasses. But I also know he needed those glasses. I can safely say that my dad and I, and a select few customers of the Rio that day, are some of the lucky few to ever see my uncle sprint like he was running from a tornado.
I wear the sunglasses nearly every time I play live now. They don’t really fit me great, so I just throw them on my head or my ball cap. I don’t really enjoy playing with sunglasses on anyway. The social aspect of poker is what I enjoy the most, and I hate put barriers in front of that. I also still use the card protector he gave me on that trip. These two items make me smile as I remember that shocked look on my uncle’s face that day.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Fire Jauron!
Sticking with my theme from last week, I am not picking very many underdogs this week. I expect the Dolphins to beat the 2-point favorite Bills in Miami. The Dolphins can stop the run, and they’ll wear down the Bills defense by the end of the game. My only hope as a Bills fan is that they learn to open up their passing game from standard, one and two back personnel packages. Then maybe they can get their TE involved and open up down the field on the Phins. Otherwise it’s hopeless. Deep down I want them to lose a close one and fire Dick Jauron and his career 58-79 record.
I’m also picking the 2-point dog Ravens over the Patties in Pattieland. The Ravens are a superb team, and the Patties still aren’t firing on all cylinders. As long as the Ravens can shut down Moss, they should handle the Patties with no issues.
I’m picking the Chargers over the Steelers (-6 1/2) because, damn it, it’s time for the Chargers to win a key match-up within the first four weeks of the regular season.
Finally, I’m picking the Jets in New Orleans over the Saints (-7). The undefeated Jets are a touchdown dog over a team that has destroyed the “mighty” defenses of Detroit, Philly, and Buffalo. The Jets can play defense. The Jets can sustain drives. New Orleans is in trouble and no one knows it.
I can’t wait for Sunday, as it’s the first Sunday of the month of October, and one weekend closer to me shipping for home!
I’m also picking the 2-point dog Ravens over the Patties in Pattieland. The Ravens are a superb team, and the Patties still aren’t firing on all cylinders. As long as the Ravens can shut down Moss, they should handle the Patties with no issues.
I’m picking the Chargers over the Steelers (-6 1/2) because, damn it, it’s time for the Chargers to win a key match-up within the first four weeks of the regular season.
Finally, I’m picking the Jets in New Orleans over the Saints (-7). The undefeated Jets are a touchdown dog over a team that has destroyed the “mighty” defenses of Detroit, Philly, and Buffalo. The Jets can play defense. The Jets can sustain drives. New Orleans is in trouble and no one knows it.
I can’t wait for Sunday, as it’s the first Sunday of the month of October, and one weekend closer to me shipping for home!
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