Brandon's Blog

My Brother is Missing

2010-04-21T19:47:00.000-08:00

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Just In Time

2010-02-11T08:44:00.000-09:00

I’m on Attu Island in Alaska as I write this. How insane is that? I’m 1,100 miles from mainland Alaska and I can still play poker and blog on the Internet. It is, admittedly, rather choppy Internet . (It's no worse than Maine in similar weather.)

The weather is awful!!!!! This place routinely sees 50-80 mph winds this time of year. At one point their records showed over 170 mph within the last year. I fall asleep each night to the sound of a freight train outside my window. I have not stepped a single foot outside since walking over from the runway last Wednesday. It’s not that it is that incredibly awful, it’s just so very intimidating. I keep waiting for an Imperial Walker to walk around the corner when I look out of the window. Hell, the windows! Half the time they’re plastered with snow from the drifts!

And yet I’m terribly pleased to be on this trip. It’s only a two week stay on the island. Well, IF the C-130 can land, it’s only two weeks. LORAN stations are the first step in the process of cutting the Coast Guard budget. Since I’ve been here they’ve already shut down their major signal. By next year this LORAN station and many (all?) of the other LORAN stations will be shut down permanently. Attu Island will return to Population Zero (as it probably should be considering how inhospitable it is). I’m glad I was given the opportunity to make it out here, even if the only pics I get are on my way back to the C-130 next week. :D

'Aint Right Again

2010-02-08T20:49:00.001-09:00

If my prognostication record were a batting average I’d be in the Hall of Fame. That’s even in this Athletes Juicing and Media Acting Surprised Era. However, I miss a lot. I’d say that, if you take away every 10 point spread offered each week of the NFL season, I’d be .500 or less. That means I miss more than I hit.

Sometimes I get a feeling. As a poker acquaintance of mine says (quite often) if you’ve got a hunch, bet a bunch. Of course he’s really saying if you’ve got a hunch, call a bunch. That’s not the same as a bet. Nevermind.

I am not a gambler. Okay! Stop laughing! I like poker a lot. I also enjoy participating in football “office” pick contests. But I simply do not gamble. My poker I see as an investment. I purchase books related to the topic and I study them. I pay attention at the table to the players around me and I study them. I record situations in my brain and play them back over and over and over again and I study them. The end result of all of this studying is a consistent upward trend in the amount of money I have won over the long haul.

As far as football picks? I haven’t put my money where my mouth is since the Ravens won the Super Bowl. And I don’t play that stupid fantasy football crap (not even for fun). I just can’t handle it emotionally. I mean, what if Tom Brady were the next best QB in the draft and ended up on my team? I can’t then root for him. It won’t happen. I’d rather draft Jim Harbaugh and ask him nicely to come out of retirement.

So sometimes I get a feeling. Part of the reason I don’t gamble is that I won’t hesitate to run with the feeling I have. There’s a lot that goes into a feeling. In poker I could get the feeling that hunch-bunch is chasing a flush draw. There’s a lot of visual evidence and past experience that feeds that feeling. In any given situation my feeling is a probable truth that needs to be considered.

Sometimes feelings are driven by emotions and desires. If I have four hearts in Hold’em with two cards to come, whether I feel it or not one time in five that fifth heart is coming on the next card. Acting on the feeling that the fifth heart is coming by calling a bunch is always a mistake (even when that heart comes!).

I had a feeling the Colts would win the Super Bowl. I also had a feeling the score wouldn’t begin to approach the over/under of 56.5. One feeling had a lot more evidence feeding it. The other had mixed evidence and mixed emotions and desires feeding it. Can you guess which?

Congratulations Saints. I didn’t expect that your superstars would outlast the superstars of the Colts. I am happy for you and your fans (especially the three or four real fans that I know). I’m also happy for your 30,000,000 fans that you started picking up last year. Where were they ten years ago?

Welcome To Kodiak

2010-02-02T09:00:00.000-09:00

It’s been 12 years and some months since I moved out of the last “Squad Bay” I ever lived in. I guess it’s not terribly fair to call this a squad bay. It’s more like a very privacy-be-damned barracks room for three with minimal furnishings and amenities. I have a rack, a locker, and a desk. There is one couch by the door, but it looks old and dank so I haven’t risked it yet. Attached to the space is a head with two of everything.

I’m sharing the space with a just-graduated non-rate on his way to the Munro, Kodiak’s 378’, and an SNET(?) en route to his PCS duty station in Attu. I should know him rather well after two days here and two weeks there.

There are two doors leading into the squad bay. The one to the left of my rack (which is in the middle of the room) leads to a hallway and stairs that get me to the main hallway. I have no idea where the door on the right goes. However, this morning someone waltzed in through said door to talk to the new guy to my right. When they left together, they went out through the right door (door on right?) and magically appeared in the dining facility while I was eating breakfast. My guess is you can get out that way.

I am so glad that I spent three months in St. Paul and not in this room. Attu should be a cake walk.

You've Been Warned

2010-02-01T20:18:00.000-09:00

The Indianapolis Colts, for years one of the premier passing offenses in the NFL, is set to take on the New Orleans Saints, this year’s #1 offense in the Super Bowl on Sunday. Without throwing out a prediction…. (actually I can’t help it, Colts 18 – Saints 15) I want to remind all gamblers that in the last ten years, only Super Bowls XXXVII and XXXVIII went over this year’s 56-1/2 point over/under. One of those games had Dexter Jackson named Super Bowl MVP, as a Free Safety!!!! Never expect a high scoring Super Bowl. Unless Trent Dilfer is your Quarterback, you’re almost guaranteed to score less than 34. ;-)

I'm Perfect in Week 10... So Far

2009-11-14T11:51:00.003-09:00

How great was it to see Cutleritis strike in San Francisco on Thursday? I love how sports brings out such passion in me that I root for a team's demise just because they have a specific player on their team! I picked the 9ers, so Thursday's result was like winning twice!

I've got three upsets on the board for tomorrow. I picked Carolina to win at home versus Atlanta, a two point favorite. I also picked KC to go into Kevlar-land and take out the Raiders. Oakland is also a two point favorite. I snagged the Packers to rebound well against the Cowboys in Green Bay. The Cowboys are, not surprisingly, favored by two points. I'm starting to think that a two point favorite signifies the two shoulders of the line-maker shrugging in indifference and indecision.

I came oh-so close to picking Washington at home over Denver (-4.5). I still think that might happen given the tough Monday Night game and the short week of prep. But there's just no way I can pick the Redskins to win. Ever.

Um, let's see. What else? Saints will win. Chargers will win.

Football?

2009-11-07T11:16:00.003-09:00

I've been mildly distracted this week. I rushed my picks, not even glancing at the spreads offered in each game. The Saints will win. The Chargers will too. What's got my attention? I started back at work and had a blast relearning my job after a three month hiatus. Also, 6,494 players in the WSOP Main Event have been shaved down to the November Nine. The Final Table is starting as I type this. There are 7 "professional" poker players out of the nine left. Sure, it's all luck and no skill. (lol).

If you have the ESPN coverage DVR'd, don't read this: Phil Ivey, the greatest player in the world, is at this year's final table. I can't wait to see how he does with a mildly short stack. (He's got about 15 trips around the table left at the current blind level). For hand-by-hand coverage, check out this site. I haven't been this excited about anything poker in a very long time; that is saying a lot!

The Heavily Favored Home Teams Have It

2009-10-29T16:42:00.000-08:00

The total point spread in favor of the home teams this week is 81 to 3.5. The only road team favored is the Texans in Buffalo. Ironically I think it is the best situation for an upset. The Texans haven’t run the ball worth a damn this year. Their 79.1 yards per game on the ground is 30th in the league. They will be facing the 10th best pass defense in the league, and one that doesn’t like to give up points (7th in the AFC). If the Bills can manage their third downs, and if they happen to stop the mediocre Texan running game they have an excellent shot of winning at home.

The only other upset I picked this week was the Giants over the Eagles in Philly. They’re not even the favorite anymore after a few days of people taking the points and the Giants. The Eagles are a hit and miss team. The Giants aren’t. Well, the Giants have been nothing but miss for two weeks, but they’re better than they showed against the Cardinals. They will likely handle Philly with ease.

Another close call for me was the favored Packers at home vs. the Vikings. Green Bay has been nothing but great all year. They had two close losses (including their last loss versus the Vikings) to first place teams. They have also put a hurting on every bad team they’ve played. It’s amazing that I’m going to say this, but the Packers may be the most underrated team in the NFL. ESPN has them as the lowest ranked two loss team. We’ll see Sunday if that holds up.

Monday Night Football pits the 10 point home favorite Almighty Saints versus the Atlanta Falcons. Easy pick. Saints the rest of the way. And if I had any doubts, last week’s second half erased them.

Televised Bills Games are Bad for My Heart

2009-10-28T13:54:00.003-08:00

The Bills have won again! It’s amazing! I can’t figure out why a team like Carolina would be so pass-happy early against the worst run defense in the entire NFL. It was nice to see though. I’m excited to see where the Bills go from here. (Did I just give praise to the Bills by not calling them Jauron’s Team and follow it up with an “excited” comment in the same paragraph??) Thank goodness for Carolina’s 19-yard line average starting field position.

The most upsetting game for me was the Cowboys v. Falcons. Once again I was close enough in the pool that a win by the Falcons would have had me tied going into the Monday night game. Not only was that upsetting, but I hate to see the Cowboys win anytime they’re not playing the Raiders or the Patties.

I didn’t get to watch the MNF game, as I was on my way back home to Sitka. It was unimpressive seeing the score. If the Eagles can lose to the Raiders and seemingly barely beat the Redskins, I don’t expect them to do well against better opponents. Also unimpressive this week: the Giants. Not that I watched the game. Collinsworth prevented me from doing so. I expect the Giants to easily handle a team so affected by a good pass rush. Perhaps their game against the Raiders caused them two weeks’ worth of hangover?

For the first time this season both of my favorite teams won in the same week! I went 10-3 this week, which is excellent (still not enough to win though). Overall that brings me to 66-37 (.641) heading into week 8. Not too shabby.

2009-10-26T02:22:00.002-08:00

It is finally time for me to fly back home to my family. After 91 days away, I fly to Anchorage today and on to Sitka tomorrow. My trip here was better than expected. The family and I coped well, and we’re all looking forward to a couple of months of “down” time over the holiday season. We had a great supporting cast throughout. I want to say thank you so much to all of the friends and family that helped out with timely care-packages, phone calls, emails, and blog posts to keep our minds off the unfortunate parts of such a trip.

The crew here was great as well. Three months is a long time to spend every waking moment with people you work with. Each person’s year-long tour here is a testament to their mental and emotional toughness, and their willingness to look out for each other. I will miss each of them, and I look forward to seeing them again this winter if I am back up here for the opilio season.

Week 7 Picks

2009-10-22T05:22:00.002-08:00

Last week I was burnt by four favored teams losing at home and one squeaker of an upset pick gone wrong. My only true surprising loss was the Eagles losing to the Raiders. It was surprising, but not terribly harmful, as only one person in our pool picked the Raiders and he is – um, to be polite he is “not competitive”. 8-6 for the week was enough to drop me to a .622 winning percentage. (That still doesn’t make any sense to me – shouldn’t it be 62.2%???)

This week I am following the same unsuccessful formula because that’s what I do. My one upset this week will be the 4-1 Falcons over the 3.5 point favorite Cowboys (3-2) in Dallas. The Cowboys fail to impress me. They struggled in their last game against the Chiefs (who appear to be making quite a few teams struggle this year). Their offense is extremely productive in yardage, but not so much in points. Enter the A-T-L’s defense that appears to give up plenty of yards, but not the points. Atlanta’s schedule has been tough this year. Each of their wins has been impressive. Their wins were Miami, Carolina, Chicago and @ San Francisco (in extreme-stomping fashion). Their one loss came on the road @ The Patties.

The Patties have the biggest point spread (-15) this week, and it’s no surprise after their 59-0 whooping of the Tennessee Titans. They are facing the Tampa Bay Bucs, the worst team in the NFL. The Bucs retain this title, as they have the easier schedule of all the winless teams thus far. Their schedule is actually pretty tough for the whole year, but they failed to pull one out against the Redskins, and they allowed 33 points to the anemic Jauron’s Team. Could we have both the Rams and the Bucs go winless this year? Wouldn’t that be something!

The closest spread this week is the Bears @ the Bengals (-1.5). Giving a road team one-and-a-half points is like having the odds-makers throw their hands up. It doesn’t do much for my philosophy of picking the favorite either. I’m just going with an old time formula: never count on Jay Cutler to win a close one. Unless it’s against the Chargers and you have an official with a quick whistle. I picked the Bengals. Oh, and for those of you who don’t pay attention like me, the Bengals happen to be in first place, and are undefeated in their division after playing each team.

I’d say I’m excited about Week 7 in the NFL, but I fly home the next day. I get to watch Week 8 in the comfort of home with my kids rolling their eyes when I shout at the TV and make fun of Dan Dierdorf. I just can’t wait for Week 7 to be over.

Jauronimo!

2009-10-21T09:35:00.003-08:00

For the third time in six weeks I was (technically) tied for the football pool lead going into Monday’s game. A Charger victory with a total score around 44 points would have given me the win. Enter not one, but two Brandon Marshall [oops! Not Brandon Marshall, but that other receiver from Denver that I hate!] returns for TDs and I’m toast. So are the Chargers. Don’t look for this non-Shanahan, non-Cutler team to roll over like they did last year.

The Charger’s O looked like they had that LT-potential again. We need more short passing plays to him to set up the downfield pass and his running game. No one is buying Sproles on first and ten. He’s a great, versatile back, but it was good to see them use him more sparingly then a standard half-back.

My record was 8-6 this week. It was my worst since week 2, but at least I picked more right than wrong. A couple things burnt me bad. The Ravens missed a field goal as time expired to give the Vikings a win (someone should look at that Farve kid, he looks pretty good and might be a decent quarterback in the NFL someday). Also, the Bengals didn’t show up (again) at home against the Texans. The Texans and the Cardinals appear to be the biggest on/off teams in the NFL right now. I just don’t know what to do when I have to pick their games. I usually just close my eyes and take the favorite.

How about those Almighty Saints? This was the game I thought the least about picking, and it was never in doubt. The Almighty Saints have a points for/against spread of +99. That’s more than 20 points better than The Patties (+72), even after their 59-0 win this weekend. After their matchup with the Dolphins on Sunday, three of their next four will be their first divisional games. I look forward to seeing how they’ll do.

The other side of that spectrum is the St. Louis Rams. At -115, they are the worst. They’ve averaged nine points per game. For those of you thinking that the Detroit game in week eight will break the Oh-fer season they’re having, stand by. Detroit matches up well against the Rams, and they have a bye this week. I won’t be surprised to see Detroit as the favorite to open at home next week. Looking at their other games, the Rams may never win again.

As far as Jauron’s Team’s victory this weekend… I’m just going to throw this out there. If we could Scooby-Doo ending that Leodis McKelvin fumble in Week 1, the Buffalo Bills would be in a three way tie at the top of the AFC East at 3-3. They have one of the best running games in the AFC, and one of the best pass defenses. Of course, if you have the worst run-defense in the league, even the Browns only need two receptions to beat your sorry-ass. Since you’ll be playing from behind, your running game is a non-factor, so you might as well bench Lynch and Jackson. Your only chance is for your receivers to catch those perfectly placed third down passes early in the game to sustain drives. Thanks for nothing Terrell.

Jauron Sucks.

2009-10-15T18:02:00.002-08:00

The title pretty much covers how I feel about football this season. So I don’t really have much to write about. His team will lose to the Jets this week. The Browns only completed 2 passes that entire game. That's just sick. How do you lose to that?!?

I went 9-5 for week 5, bringing me to 48-28 overall. I was the only one to pick the Broncs over the Patties here, which nearly won me the pool (I was tied until the Phins pulled off the upset in an excellent MNF game).

The Almighty Saints are favored at home versus the Giants this week. Both teams are undefeated. It’s been awhile since I was this interested in an NFC match up. Of course, I am through being burnt by Saint victories; I will pick them to win this time around.

Meanwhile, the Buffalo Sabres have opened up the NHL season by acquiring 7 of 8 possible points in the standings. Sure would be nice to see one of those games on television. Sigh.

Jauron's Team and the Infinite Sadness

2009-10-09T12:51:00.001-08:00

It is blowout weekend in the NFL. Week 5 showcases such matchups as the Steelers v. Lions, Giants v. Redskins, Vikings v. Rams, and Jaguars v. Seahawks. There are 8 out of 14 games this week that had a 6 point favorite to open on Tuesday. There are other games that are close in the point spread that shouldn’t be. The Jets are a 2 point favorite on the road against Miami. They lost ugly against the Almighty Saints last week, so the odds-makers are giving Miami (who beat Jauron’s team bad last week) an extra boost. Also the Panthers are only 3 1/2 point favorite at home against a very bad Redskin team.

All the picks are pretty straight forward. The only line that surprises me is the 6 point dog Browns on the road versus Jauron’s team. I still picked Jauron’s team, but if I had to lay the points, I’d go with the Browns. Thank God I (hopefully) won’t have to watch this one on TV. Jauron needs to be fired. His career record of 58 and 79 is horrific. If you take away the Bears’ one winning season under him he is 45-76. That’s a winning percentage of .372. (Incidentally that’s one of those stats I’ve never understood. Wouldn’t his winning percentage be 37.2? Digression….) I pick football games better than he wins them! That’s for sure! I’m now 39-23 on the year, or .629% (Huh?! See!?) Expect Jauron’s team to have a very tough day at home versus the Browns.

This is such a lopsided weekend that I only picked one underdog. Inevitably I picked the wrong one (Broncos over The Patties). There will, no doubt be other upsets, while The Patties will likely cruise to victory. (Although, I wonder… if God favors the teams I hate as much as it seems, who wins when The Patties and the Broncos play?) All I know for sure this week is that the Almighty Saints won’t lose. Therefore, I refuse to pick against them. Actually, I may never pick against them again.

In the meantime, I’m going back to my reading, and my online poker playing, and my trying to find out the meaning of life… and how Dick Jauron still has a job.

A Perfect Morning - Ruined.

2009-10-08T14:45:00.001-08:00

Well, I knew I wasn’t going to have a perfect week for picks. I took the touchdown underdog Jets and the near touchdown underdog Chargers in the afternoon/evening games. Seriously I don’t know what it was thinking. Especially picking against the Saints. Drew Brees is the only football jersey this side of Flutie’s that I have ever owned on purpose. He’s an excellent quarterback on a good team and I shouldn’t even have begun to pick against him, even before hearing it from the “horse’s mouth” Saint’s fan how non-genius and anti-NFC my Jets pick really was. Okay, she didn’t really put it that way, but upon further review, that’s what my pick was. I have an extreme bias toward AFC teams in close call situations.

But there were two games that really surprised me, and were the only two games I lost in the morning. The Patties got it done against the Ravens. Why does this continue to surprise me when no one else in the world is surprised by it? Simple. My heart is stronger than my brain. Even though the Patties, good or not, keep pulling out these games that they should, in all probability lose, I simply cannot give them credit for having that sort of intestinal fortitude because I hate them so. It would the same thing that would make me pick the Raiders if the had won five straight games. As if. (Al Davis I hope you live forever!!)

And the Titans. Oh the Titans. Only you can figure a way to have Vince Young get a starting job in the NFL. Thank you for showing me how another team can be as mediocre as the Bills. Except, you know, you guys can make it to the playoffs. Has Jauron been fired yet? Nine and Five this week. Awful.

An Accidental Look into My Life in St. Paul

2009-10-05T16:02:00.001-08:00

I am ten weeks into a temporary duty trip to LORAN Station St. Paul, Alaska. In this booming metropolis I haven’t had any trouble finding things to do. I’ve kept myself busy with puzzles, books, video games, online poker, and television. I’ve taken loads of pictures and been to many parts of this small island. I’ve even designated myself the driver of the bar crowd a time or two. Recently a good friend of mine sent me a 500 piece PEZ candy puzzle. (I don’t know, she collects PEZ dispensers and likes to torture her friends I guess.) I took a picture of the completed puzzle yesterday and, looking at the photo, I realized how comfortable I’ve grown in this little room of mine over the last 70 days.

In the photo there’s a lovely painting behind the puzzle. It was painted by my daughter Audrey on an 8x8 cotton canvas. It’s of a lovely green house with red tulip-looking-things in the front yard. There’s a bright blue, sunny sky over head, but it looks like there is a dark storm on the horizon. It’s an original. I have many original artworks in the room. One of my other favorites (hanging right above this piece, and also from Audrey) is a coloring with a note that reads “Dear Dad dog that beagle Dachshund. I Miis You”.

To the left in the photo is my snack shelf. I’ve got miniature Heath candy bars (my most-favoritest), some goldfish (on which I’m practicing the art of delayed gratification), chocolates, and a box of fabulous homemade cookies (with bits of Heath in there of course) made by my wife and children. There’s also a shoebox there with some Doritos in it.

Below the snack shelf I have The History of Pirates, a coffee table book my wife got me for my birthday. The camera usually sits on top of it. I’ve used the camera a ton, and hopefully I get around to posting more of the photos to this blog when I get near a decent Internet connection.

To the left of the puzzle box is my desk lamp. On its pedestal are Billy’s Poker Glasses and my card protector. Once he bought these glasses, my uncle Billy wore them every time he played poker. The first time I ever saw them was when he and my dad picked me up from the Vegas airport in 2008. I was in town to watch the two of them compete in the $1,500 buy-in event #2 of the World Series of Poker. Billy was starting in the second field on day 1B of the tournament, and that’s when I learned how important the sunglasses were to him.

Las Vegas has some of the best food for your money that you can find. They definitely have their trap spots where they fleece their customers with $8 drinks and $30 entrees. However, they make enough money from suckers who gamble that they can spread a buffet or a specialty restaurant and a poker player (especially the non-sucker type) can get a great deal and be stuffed by a t-bone at 8am.

The three of us suckers –ER I mean poker players enjoyed just such a meal at the Rio on Billy’s day one. Actually it was our routine for the entire time we were in town. We all stayed in the same room that trip and, after my dad’s woman-like getting ready rituals, we’d eat together. Now this was more of a pact between us rather than just a meal by necessity. You see, a poker player in Vegas might as well not sleep if he gets up early to have breakfast. It’s tough to be functional at an early hour when you’ve rousted yourself up after a cash game until 5am. But we did it each and every morning because above all, we were there to spend time together.

After our meal we went to join the women-folk at their breakfast. My grandma, mom, and sister were all in town as well. They weren’t on the same schedule as us and, let’s be honest, weren’t in the biggest hurry to go watch Billy play for 9 hours on end. Hence the separate breakfasts.

As the dawn of Billy’s poker day closed in we excused ourselves from the table. Billy, sitting next to me, reaches down toward the bench and suddenly jerks his hand and head up like there was a rattlesnake sitting there. Wide-eyed and open-mouthed he looks at my dad. “I lost my poker glasses!” Pure panic was in his voice as he was moments (and a freaking half-mile walk) away from his shot at glory. His dream that was playing in a World Series of Poker event was upon us, and he was a solider without his weapon!

I consider myself a lucky man. Along with the other things that God has blessed me with I’ve done some things that not many other people have ever been able to do. Heck, I’m writing this on St. Paul Island, Alaska. How many people have been here? I’ve also played poker against my uncle when he wasn’t wearing his poker glasses. He whopped me something good, and I’ll never forget that whopping. I knew he didn’t need those glasses. But I also know he needed those glasses. I can safely say that my dad and I, and a select few customers of the Rio that day, are some of the lucky few to ever see my uncle sprint like he was running from a tornado.

I wear the sunglasses nearly every time I play live now. They don’t really fit me great, so I just throw them on my head or my ball cap. I don’t really enjoy playing with sunglasses on anyway. The social aspect of poker is what I enjoy the most, and I hate put barriers in front of that. I also still use the card protector he gave me on that trip. These two items make me smile as I remember that shocked look on my uncle’s face that day.

Fire Jauron!

2009-10-01T05:00:00.003-08:00

Sticking with my theme from last week, I am not picking very many underdogs this week. I expect the Dolphins to beat the 2-point favorite Bills in Miami. The Dolphins can stop the run, and they’ll wear down the Bills defense by the end of the game. My only hope as a Bills fan is that they learn to open up their passing game from standard, one and two back personnel packages. Then maybe they can get their TE involved and open up down the field on the Phins. Otherwise it’s hopeless. Deep down I want them to lose a close one and fire Dick Jauron and his career 58-79 record.

I’m also picking the 2-point dog Ravens over the Patties in Pattieland. The Ravens are a superb team, and the Patties still aren’t firing on all cylinders. As long as the Ravens can shut down Moss, they should handle the Patties with no issues.

I’m picking the Chargers over the Steelers (-6 1/2) because, damn it, it’s time for the Chargers to win a key match-up within the first four weeks of the regular season.

Finally, I’m picking the Jets in New Orleans over the Saints (-7). The undefeated Jets are a touchdown dog over a team that has destroyed the “mighty” defenses of Detroit, Philly, and Buffalo. The Jets can play defense. The Jets can sustain drives. New Orleans is in trouble and no one knows it.

I can’t wait for Sunday, as it’s the first Sunday of the month of October, and one weekend closer to me shipping for home!

Ten and Six Week Three

2009-09-30T12:45:00.001-08:00

Where did I go wrong? I was 10-6 this week. Surprisingly not 9-7, as I accidently picked the Colts to win, even though I didn’t think they would. Better to be lucky than good I guess. Although this week was a major improvement over last week, I still sucked. Let’s see where I failed.

Obvious:
Jags win on the road vs. Houston. What the hell Houston? Talk about an on-off switch for defense! You are the Cardinals of the AFC. Oh wait. Never mind. Your defense never shows up. It’s your offense that is so light switch like.

Washington loses in Detroit. Alright. I guess we can pick against the Lions for the rest of the season and be safe. The pros feel the same, as they opened up as a 10 point dog in Chicago for week 4.

And Pittsburgh loses to Cincy on the road. You just can’t count on anything in this league anymore I guess. I sure hope the Steelers have this many problems executing against the Chargers.

Close calls:
The Patties win. Yuck. Can someone please play Randy Moss like the Bills did? You know, without blowing the lead in the last couple minutes.

Minnesota defends home against the 49ers. How dare I pick against Favre! At least the Niners covered that ridiculous 7-point spread. I guess we’ll have to wait until later this season to see that Farvearian Chokemeister.

New Orleans beat Buffalo in Orchard Park. When your offense is shit, your defense gets tired. Fire your coach before it’s too late!!

Oh how I long for my week one success now!

Week 3 Picks

2009-09-23T13:33:00.003-08:00

I have zero confidence going into the NFL’s third week - and for good reason. Last week it turns out I was 6 and 10, not 7 and 9. That’s more than awful. This week, I’m taking the “safe” approach. There are hardly any shockers on my list so far. Here’s a quick rundown.

Obvious:
Philly over KC at home
Baltimore over the Browns at home (the spread is up to 13 points!)
Houston over the Jags at home.
The Cowgirls over the Panthers at home (total score around 45 for the tie-breaker)
Road wins for Green Bay, the Giants, Washington, and Pittsburgh

Close calls:
The Jets over Tennessee in New Jersey. The Jets have looked great in every game and the Titans look all around rusty.

Atlanta beating The Patties in Pattie-land. Same thing – the Patties look like crap, and Atlanta looks pretty sharp.

Chicago on the road over Seattle. Never trust Chicago. Never trust Cutler. Unless you trusted Seattle the week before and got burnt.

San Diego at home over the Dolphins. Home team. Phins don’t finish and the Chargers don’t either.

Denver in Kevlarland winning at Oakland. Week 2: Russell 7 of 24 109 yards, McFadden 12 for 35 yards 1 TD.

Arizona at home over Indy. Indy’s Dee? Anyone there?

Upsets:
San Fran on the road over Minnesota. How dare I pick against Favre! But a 7 point favorite at home for a team that has beaten Cleveland and Detroit??? I’m sorry; I just don’t buy it.

Buffalo at home over New Orleans. New Orleans has beaten Detroit and Philly so far. Philly, by the way, attempted 51 passes in that game and hasn’t had a rusher over 64 yards yet. Enter Freddy Jackson. (Okay, all heart and no logic here.)

I’m not as nervous this week as I was last week. Maybe that’s because there’s virtually no way I can do worse than I did last week. So either way, I’ll be improving. I look forward to Sunday, and I hope it turns out to be a great week.

Week 2 Sucks

2009-09-22T11:17:00.001-08:00

So every single game that I featured in last week’s blog I lost. Almost. Indy managed to pull it out in the end as efficiently as possible. Let me just say that one surprise pick that I didn’t include last week's blog was the Patties losing to the Jets. This will be my reigning theme throughout the season. The Patties are the worst good team I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t see them winning a Super Bowl with their current roster.

Last year the Patties were the #5 offense in the NFL and missed the playoffs. Arizona was #4 and lost the Super Bowl to the #1 defense in the league, Pittsburgh. The year before the phenomenal Pattie offense, easily #1 in the league, lost to the second best NFC defense in yards allowed. In the 2003 season, the Patties won the Super Bowl with a #4 ranked defense over the #5 ranked defense of Carolina. The Patriots repeated the following year with the #1 defense in points per game (14.9!!!). This doesn’t even come close to the top ten NFL defenses ever, but with a great decision maker at quarterback in Tom Brady, the Patties are bound to capitalize on good defense.

The style of offense the Patriots have run since the arrival of Randy Moss is a short pass sustained spread offense. While most teams use the establishment of a running game to set up the rest of their offense, the Patties use the short passing game to set up their long pass and draw runs. That’s not to say they can’t (or don’t) walk up to the line with two tight ends and pound the rock. They just choose not to. And when they score, they do it quickly and put their defense right back on the field.

I don’t see this spread style of offense as sustainable in the NFL. In recent memory, the only team to pull off a Super Bowl with that style offense was the ’99 St. Louis Rams. But they had a natural balance in the backfield in Marshal Faulk. No matter how many graphical statistics they create for him in game, Kevin Faulk doesn’t compare except in name. Seeing how Freddie Taylor ran against Buffalo early in week one’s game, I was a little worried they might have brought balance back, but it appears that the Evil Empire will continue down the path it’s chosen.

Now that Darth and the Emperor have been addressed, let’s look at some terrible results from this week.

Jacksonville over Arizona – What a joke. Okay, it wasn’t an all around joke. I just didn’t expect defensive/special teams points to come from Arizona, and this one got out of hand early. And since this game wasn’t on TV, I’m still asking myself if Arizona (and for that matter, San Fran’s Dee) is for real. Sure, the team scored a lot. But I still just don’t know whether to pick them in upcoming matchups. Either way, I was way off the mark with this one.

Tampa Bay over Buffalo – I was having multiple flashbacks at the end of the first half of this game. Buffalo dominated nearly every aspect and seemed to be handing it away again. Going into the locker room I was ready to burn all of my Buffalo Bill paraphernalia and call it the quits. Seriously. So I ended up emotionally disconnecting myself for the second half, which is a shame, because there was a lot to cheer about. The Bills looked great on offense, defense, and special teams throughout the game (except for before mentioned late first half). They actually repaired some old wounds with their second half showing. Now if they start Freddy Jackson over Marshawn Lynch against the Saints, they’ll have an outside shot at winning. They won’t though. Trust me.

Seattle over San Francisco – Ugh. Seattle looked terrible! Even before Hasslebeck went out. I guess St. Louis is really as bad as they appear. San Fran is another monster all together. It’s going to be tougher and tougher to pick against them after the first two victories. Especially their next game on the road against Minnesota.

Cleveland over Denver – Yuck. Seriously, I never specifically want to see Denver win. I can’t believe their in first place again. They’ll likely beat the Raiders and be 3-0 to start the season. Then OMG we’re going to hear all the Bronco worshipers come out. Thanks a lot Cleveland.

I was 7 and 9 this week. That’s just awful. Fortunately, I wasn’t the only one with problems, as the rest of the crew stumbled quite a bit. Unfortunately, I would have been even if the Chargers could have pulled out a win. What the heck does it take for them to beat a good team in the regular season? Oh well. Tomorrow I’ll try to decipher Week 3.

Lions and Tigers and Bears… Will Lose

2009-09-17T05:00:00.004-08:00

Okay, I know that title had to have been used before, but I couldn’t help it. This isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last time that I’ve picked Detroit, Chicago, and Cincy to all lose in the same weekend. Actually, this isn’t the first time this season! Here are some surprise picks for you though:

Jacksonville over Arizona – okay, okay, I know. Not a surprise because the Jags are favored at home in this one. But seriously, would it be a surprise if I picked the favored Titans to beat the underdog Steelers last Thursday? Of course! So this counts. Jacksonville’s defense looked stout in front of a true man of a quarterback (one that doesn’t need those sissy gloves on both hands) in Peyton Manning. It may be close, but only on the scoreboard. If Arizona looked somewhat decent against the Niners, I might have more difficulty with this one.

Tampa Bay over Buffalo – What?! Maybe I picked this one too soon after the choke-fest that was Monday Night Football. The Bills are favored to win at home. Buffalo looked great during the Patties game. Their offense needed to execute better on third down. Their running attack with Freddy Jackson is awesome to watch! They didn’t turn the ball over on offense. And their defense played an A+ game against the Patties right up until the end. Take the last five sentences; move them back three years; insert J.P. Loser-man (spelling?) and Lynch or McGahee before him and nothing’s changed! Not converting on third downs plus late turnovers plus soft fourth quarter defense equals a losing team. I am not talking about a lost game. I am talking about a mediocrity that brings about years of missing the playoffs. Those 6-10 Charger teams of my youth are remembered well when I watch the Bills.

Seattle over San Francisco – I had some trouble picking this one. Indeed San Fran is favored slightly in this one. I don’t think they should be. They showed a stout defense against Arizona last week, but it remains to be seen if Arizona is the powerhouse everyone makes them out to be. I’ll say it again; they are not that far removed from mediocrity. My problem with Seattle comes simply from not seeing their game against a team (speaking of mediocrity: St. Louis) that is probably still pretty bad. Their stats, especially Hasslebeck’s three TDs, look great. Their running yards appear to have come mostly from one long TD run. But offensive production is offensive production. And a defensive shutout is a defensive shutout.

Dear Buffalo,
Please pitch a shutout on defense and be productive on offense so I can pick you next week.

Your Fan,
Brandon.

Cleveland over Denver – I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people pick Denver at home for this one. Cleveland is not the awful Cleveland of a few years ago though. Probably still mediocre, but so is Kyle Orton. He’s safe, but mediocre. In what will hopefully be a turnover-and-punt-fest, I look for the Browns to stay safely at the top of the turd pile by the end.

Indianapolis over Miami – Um. No surprise here. I chose 26 for a final score tie-breaker because the Miami’s D stood up well against the A-T-L and their offense – well, it’s the Dolphins. Really I just wanted this last paragraph to say happy birthday to my good friend Colts fan Jozi. And while I’m here, my brother too. And Lloyd. Not that he would have read this far. Any other 17th birthdays out there?

My Nearly Unbelievable NFL Week 1

2009-09-16T05:00:00.002-08:00

Last week I witnessed huge success in my NFL picks. An undefeated morning and only one loss in the afternoon put me in front of the race in our morale office pool. If Leodis McKelvin hadn’t returned a 4th quarter kickoff in the Bills game with his hands around his throat, I would have locked up the pool going into the tie-breaker Charger game. I was one of two people (we have 14 total) who picked the Bills.

Although they are my favorite team, I did not pick with my heart this time. I knew from their first game last year that the Bills match up well. Given better play calling this year, they had a shot. Well, the Bills just fired their O-Coordinator the week before the game, so they were a lock to win. Alright, I threw a little heart into the decision, but not as much as one may think.

Where I did pick with my heart was when I decided on the final score of the Charger – Raider game. I was, after the Bills-Debacle, in a five way tie at 13-2. All five players had chosen the Chargers to win. I assumed 7 successful Charger drives and 3 successful Raider drives with more touchdowns scored than field goals. I put my tie-breaking total score at 54. I knew that the Chargers had come out flat every single year under Norv Turner. But I just didn’t want to believe that they would do it yet again. If I had just predicted two fewer successful Charger drives and went with around five points per drive I would have been a lot closer to the final score. Oh well – lesson learned.

I want to touch on a couple other picks from last week. I counted on Denver winning against the Bengals. I got a little lucky at the end there, but overall I felt that the Broncos executed well above the level that Cincy did. They just lacked that execution once they got near mid-field. Actually, both teams looked the same in that regard. Either way, I usually don’t pick Cincy in a close one because they seem to lack the character to go out and get a win. It was nice to see the Broncos try to give them one at the end with that soft defense.

My only afternoon loss came from the 49ers beating Arizona. Kurt Warner looked like he switched it off again. That leads me to wonder if he’s going to play this way the entire season. When he is off, I look for a lot of sacks and turnovers. And a whole lot of three-and-outs. Let’s not forget where the Cards were two or three years ago. They’re not that far removed from mediocrity, so I will need to keep a close eye on them for future picks.

Other than those two games, there weren’t very many surprises in my picks. Week one is a tough one to get right, but the seemingly uneven match-ups made for easy picking in my mind. It just so happened that the teams that were better tended to play that way. Week two looks a lot more ominous. More on that later.

St. Paul Island, Alaska

2009-09-14T07:58:00.003-08:00

Yesterday I spent my 48th day on St. Paul Island. My TDY trip here in support of the galley staff for the extra contractors on base is scheduled for 96 days, meaning I am halfway through! If the trip has been anything, it’s been long. I’m looking forward to counting down the days instead of counting up. I have also gained an awful lot of respect for those that spend an entire tour here.

St. Paul Island is home of a LORAN station operated by the Coast Guard. In support of the 625’ tower that pumps its 400,000 watt signal out over the bearing sea, there are currently 14 people stationed here permanently. There are also two civilians that work in a full time status at the station. Each member that gets stationed here leaves their family behind for an entire year. They are compensated by getting an extra 2.5 days/month of compensatory leave and a high priority of transfer for their next assignment. These benefits are the only way that this assignment stays, for the most part, in a volunteer-only status. Thank God for volunteers.

My time here started on the evening of July 27th. An overnight in Anchorage and some hours of flying landed me first on St. George Island and then on to St. Paul. Both islands are part of the Pribilof Island chain.

The XPO picked me up from the airport and our first stop was a seal rookery past Zapadni Point on the southern coast of the island. There I caught my first look at the endangered Northern Fur Seal. I was really looking forward to this visit, as the Fur Seal trade is what originally brought the Coast Guard (then the Revenue Cutter Service) to Alaska. I was not disappointed. The seals were fascinating to watch and listen to. They also have a fascinating smell.

The first week I spent time learning the ins-and-outs of my job here. I also started to learn the routine of LORAN station. There are a lot of techniques used by the personnel to pass their time here. One of my favorites takes place on Fridays. The crew is generally granted early liberty after lunch. Darts, billiards, foosball and movies dominate the afternoon. After dinner the real fun starts, as most of the crew participates in a NL Texas Hold’em tournament (for free, of course) on the mess deck. That first Friday, I took down a tournament of 8 players. This game is easy! Since then, it hasn’t come as easy. I must say that winning 3 of 9 tournaments since arriving appears to be more than my fair share though.

On my first Saturday, and many days since, I walked part of the island. It was just a five mile portion of the island. As a clue to the visual wonders this island displays in the summer time, I took 163 digital photos in that five miles. That first Saturday also marked the beginning of a new month, which was great news (even if I had only been here five days so far).

Anticipation is a big part of passing the time in St. Paul. I’ve found myself looking forward to a number of milestones. Each Friday is indeed a milestone; I’ve been looking forward to the next poker game for years. Also, the comings and goings of personnel is usually looked forward to. As bittersweet as it can be, someone leaving the island means I am closer to going home to see my family. I imagine many people here can’t wait for the day I leave as a marker that their year is closer to being done.

Each milestone seems bigger than it did anywhere else too. For example, I’ve never quite anticipated the start of a football season as much as I have this one. Both college football and the NFL are such a big deal here. Most likely it is because each sports fan knows that a Sunday full of football is a Sunday that flies by. Also, I really can’t wait for my birthday to get here. Not only does it bring up the prospect of some really cool stuff in the mail (like a PEZ dispenser jigsaw puzzle or San Diego Chargers watch!), but it will also mean that I only have five weeks left!

What’s left for the remaining 48 days? Well, there are at least seven more poker games. Maybe (likely) I can add to the six books I’ve read so far. (It’s tough and easy to read here. No one interrupts you. But it gets awfully quiet.) I have at least one more puzzle in store. There will be plenty of working out (at an hour-and-a-half/day, I can burn up 6% of my time here). More walks and photos are definitely on the way. Mostly I will be putting my head down and grinding the time away by picking my head up and enjoying my time here as much as I have so far.

Uncle Billy

2009-01-24T10:12:00.001-09:00

From My Poker Blog:

I started playing poker in 2003 after moving to Sitka, Alaska. Ever since that time I have always had poker buddies. Much like drinking buddies or fishing buddies, our conversations revolved around our hobby. Sure, every once in awhile we would wander into discussion about family or friends or work or sports or whatever. The basis for our friendship had started in poker, and therefore the dialogue would inevitably end up there.

Usually these poker buddies would become my best friends. I spent an inordinate amount of time with them over the years. Each poker tournament ran at least three to four hours. Our cash games would run through the night. Our phone calls would go on and on about this bad beat, or that great rake. At work we would pass the time talking over strategies or felt stories that amused us. We would dream together about one day sitting at a prestigious final table together and having EPSN do a feature about these two friends making it all the way.

This past week I saw the passing of one of my best friends – one of my favorite poker buddies. My Uncle Billy died while I was out on the boat. I found out on Thursday.

Billy was the most driven poker player I knew. He lived alone and spent much of his time away from work working over the fish at PokerStars. My first Christmas gift to Billy was a poker book, a poker DVD, and a set of cheeky card protectors. His first gift to me was Harrington’s second Hold’em book. Family made Billy my Uncle, but Poker made Billy my friend.

Billy and I grew closer than ever over the last seven months or so. I flew to Vegas to watch him and my dad play in the WSOP event #2. Along with the time I spent stalking his play for day 1, I spent a ton of time with him elsewhere. We watched movies up in the room. We went to nearly every meal together. We ran to the strip to play various cash games and tournaments. Probably the most important part of the trip – we swapped cell phone numbers.

Since that trip we’ve been in steady contact on the phone. Somewhere along the line he learned to use the text messaging feature on his phone. Along with the 380+ email conversations over the past year, we’ve also added phone conversations to our repertoire.

Billy has also staked me in multiple games above my bankroll. Most recently he bought me into the Sunday Warm Up. He also was planning on having me fly out to Vegas this spring to buy me into the WSOP circuit event that was coming to town. At every step it was apparent that Billy treasured our new friendship as much as I did.

Really all I can do now is treasure that friendship. I will cherish the time God brought Billy into my life. I will grasp at the memories that bring a smile to my face. It is one thing that helps when my brain is running and trying to logically explain why he is gone now. Or worse, when my brain tries to run through scenarios that have me miraculously calling or emailing him at the right time to derail him from the course of events that lead to his death.

My other help comes from the family and friends that I have on and off the felts. My daughters can’t help but make me smile all day long. My dad is like an anchor, in spite of losing one of his best friends in Billy. My friends at Railbirds are amazing in their support, proving to be a form of therapy for me. I look forward to playing games on Full Tilt with them soon.

This has been a busy month for my blog. I will be taking a needed break from publishing through the remainder of the month. In the meantime I will be appreciating more time with my family, and trying to smile more than usual.

2nd Hand Borrowing of Creativity

2009-01-15T18:15:00.004-09:00

I've started following quite a few blogs recently. One of them posted something this evening that deserves a visit, especially if you love THE Star Wars Trilogy and the Muppets like I do. Check it out here.

Home. Again.

2009-01-06T08:01:00.000-09:00

I’ve been couch-contained since just before the New Year. I had “minor” surgery on the 30th. Minor meaning there’s nothing for my friends to worry about and there’s plenty to affect my life. Yesterday I tried work for the first time. A high percentage of people have no problems within a couple days. I waited a whole week and had plenty of problems. I was home by 10:30. I felt worse yesterday than I did last Thursday.

I really hate the feeling of involuntarily leaving responsibilities at work. I say “involuntarily” because I really have no problems deciding to skip out on work. That’s behavior I’ve had since birth! It’s also part of the reason I scheduled this procedure during our boat’s in-port period. Of course, the upside is more time at home with the family. I have also had loads of time to work on hobbies (work? lol) such as Blogger and poker.

I’ve found some new reads as far as blogs go. It’s nice to have something new to read every time I log on. My new poker blog is going great. I’ve designed a header and background for it using my minimal graphic design talents. I’ll use this opportunity to shamelessly plug it again ;-)

http://cgcook38.blogspot.com/

I love Blogger’s feature that allows me to set the time that a blog gets published. This allows me to write multiple blogs at once without throwing them all out there at the same time. This is perfect for poker, as I am always thinking about it. There’s always something for me to write about. Also, when my boat leaves for an entire week I will have the ability to publish while I am gone, which is wonderful!

I Finally Found One!

2009-01-02T08:53:00.003-09:00

I found someone who believes the Chargers have a shot! But then, all he considers is the performance of the team. Probably not something that would be understood by the four-letter network, or anyone else. Regardless, this blog looks fascinating and I will be following it from now on!

With a Title Like That...

2009-01-01T14:00:00.000-09:00

I've been following a blog lately called Giant Battling Robots. I found it on the Blogs of Note, and it's a wonderful fit for me. The writer keeps me entertained regardless of whether the topic is of interest to me. Usually I am very intrigued with his topics though, as the entire blog is based on games and statistics. It’s like a dreamland for me. =)

Unreal - Where the Lack of Respect for the Chargers Comes From

2008-12-29T06:59:00.005-09:00

There's a certain stigma that is carried into the playoffs as an 8 and 8 NFL team. There is good precedent for this, as no team had won a playoff game prior to 2004. In those five attempts, the closest a team came to winning was the first one - the 1985 Cleveland Browns, who came within a field goal of Miami. The only two teams to actually win a playoff game as an 8-8 team were both in 2004. Both Minnesota and St Louis made the NFC playoffs in a terrible year for that conference. Both won their first round game (vs. Green Bay and Seattle, respectively) and both were spanked in the second round. Thank you ESPN for keeping this updated.

Now the Chargers have made it. The San Diego Chargers, who were likely everyone's favorite to win it all once Tom Brady went Carson Palmer on us, are now in the playoffs[sorry about the link Pattie Fans, but this is what sports does to us]. So why should we show any respect to a team that is 8-8 and only in the playoffs because they play in a weak division? Well first, we should take a look at who they beat, and who they lost to. Perhaps we should think about how they lost the games they did lose.

To the second seeded Carolina 26-24 on a last second TD pass.
On the road to the Broncos (not quite a playoff team!) 39-38, which should have been a win. In Baseball, they would have played the remainder of the game under protest.
On the road to the third seeded Dolphins 17-10.
On the road to the MIGHTY BUFFALO BILLS!!! 23-14.
In England to the Saints 37-32 after which they fired their defensive coordinator for not getting pressure on quarterbacks (17 sacks in 8 games).
On the road to the second seeded Steelers 11-10 in the last minute.
To the fifth seeded Colts 23-20 in the last minute.
To the fifth seeded Atlanta Falcons 22-16

The Chargers were 3-5 at on the road this year, with two of those losses coming against playoff teams. One of those games was a farce (the Broncos) and should not have counted as a loss. One of those games was played over 11,000 miles from home. Two of those losses came with a combined 35 seconds to play for a total difference of two points. Their only loss more than seven points (on the road or at home) came against the MIGHTY BUFFALO BILLS!!!

There's an old(?) saying that bad teams lose close games. The Chargers were 2-7 in games decided by a touchdown or less (both wins vs. Kansas City). This is indeed disturbing. However, there is also a saying that good teams don't lose to bad teams. The Chargers are 8-3 against non-playoff teams (9-2 if you fix that stupid Bronco game!). The average score in these games was 33-23 Chargers.

The scariest stat for the AFC (besides Phillip Rivers, who I'll get to) is that the Chargers are only allowing 18.5 points per game (including three playoff teams - ATL, IND, PIT) since changing D coordinators. This is down from 24.9 in the first 8 games. This is also better than their first opponent's (Colts) 20.9/game in their last 8 meaningful games (games 7-15) against only two playoff teams (Tenn and SD).

Really, considering their record and their past history, I was not terribly surprised this morning by John Clayton's article Here. Mr. Clayton presents ten questions in which he rarely mentions the Chargers. He highlights their major injury (LT's abdominal strain), there rematch with the Colts (week 12) and their ineffectiveness at the running game, stating that LT "has had one of the worst seasons of his career." This is because he only rushed for 1,110 yards and 11 touchdowns whilst not fumbling once. This was fourth among AFC backs!! Oh, and second among playoff bound AFC backs (Johnson, TEN - 1,228). Are you kidding me John?! Note that Darren Sproles ran for an additional 330 yards on only 61 carries. Actually the Chargers' 4.1 yards per rush is third among AFC playoff teams (Tenn 4.3, Mia 4.2). Great analysis John. That must be because of their O-line's "shaky run-blocking". Laugh-Out-Loud John, Laugh-Out-Loud.

Maybe the Charger's are a threat because of their passing game then. This is what Mr. Clayton says:

"6. Which quarterbacks hold the edge?

Manning, Roethlisberger and -- believe it or not -- Collins have the edge. Manning is the most experienced playoff quarterback. He's been in 14 playoff games, winning seven and losing seven. He has 21 touchdown passes and 17 interceptions in those 14 games, and he's completed 61 percent of his passes. He's won three of his past four playoff games, and he has a Super Bowl ring.

Roethlisberger is next. In the postseason, he's 5-2 with 12 touchdown passes and 11 interceptions, and he has the league's highest completion percentage (62.4) [he's at a whopping 59.9 this year John, 21st in the NFL]. Collins is the sleeper. He's been to two conference championship games and a Super Bowl. Pennington is a solid playoff quarterback. He took three Jets teams to the playoffs and is 2-3 in the postseason with seven touchdown passes and a 60.4 completion percentage. Rivers is just starting to learn how to be a successful playoff quarterback. He is 2-2 in the postseason, thanks to last year's run to the AFC title game."

So not only has Phillip Rivers been stiffed out of a trip to the Pro Bowl, now he's doesn't even hold an edge in playoff passing. The Chargers' 241.1 passing yards per game is seventh in the NFL and second among AFC playoff teams (Indy with 255.9). Phillip is getting an astounding 8.4 yards per pass attempt! Wait a second. That means that the Chargers are getting 6.0 yards per play! That's tied for tops among NFL playoff teams (Car).

Rivers completed this season with a QB rating of 105.5. His previous highest in a full season was 92.0 in '06. How does this compete with other QB's? Well in 2007, Tom Brady had a QB rating of 117.2. In 2004, Peyton Manning set the single season record of 121.1 while Daunte Culpepper (yes, him) had 110.9. That places Rivers fourth on the list for this decade. Among active QB's? Kurt Warner in '99 had a 109.2, and that's it! We're talking about the fifth best performance by an active QB, and he's not a great threat in the playoffs. Thanks John. Great job, John.

What does all of this mean? Watch out AFC. Their's a fierce storm on the horizon and it wears a giant bolt of lightning. Go Chargers! Set 'em straight!

2008-12-27T15:38:00.006-09:00

On Christmas Eve the girls got a crack at their first gifts. Their first gifts were some classic children's stories DVDs. Then the moved on to the classic Christmas PJs gift.

After some more running around Mary set up a few nice shots of the girls and the tree. I thought they were great photos. Mary and I went to bed relatively early - we were both wiped out from a full evening that saw a couple of our favorite families over for dinner.

Christmas Day was relaxing. The kids got up way too late and started in on their Santa Loot.

Anna's hair was in an exceptionally good mood that day. It was great to observe her reactions to the different stimulus that this great holiday provides. Her faces are priceless; I'm not sure where she gets it from. After a pot of coffee and breakfast I broke into the gifts under the tree.

The gifts were a hoot. Everyone really enjoyed them. Except for Audrey's Lego's. I guess she "liked" them, she just didn't like that they were Coast Guard themed.

We also got Abby a desk that wouldn't quite fit under the tree. That was about the only work I did all day. It was nice.

Out of Order

2008-12-26T19:51:00.004-09:00

I know I said that many pictures were coming, and that’s still the case. I am on leave through the New Year, and I am expecting to be much more motivated tomorrow. Actually, I feel like that every day. :) By the way, my kids are broken - the wind woke me up on Christmas morning when they should have. I didn’t even have to roll out of bed until 7:30. Even then, it was at my wife’s insistence at the first hint that the kids were awake. I'm pretty sure that she was excited.

My Internet was also broken on Christmas Day. That is also the wind's fault. It also serves as my official excuse for not blogging with a ton of photos today. However I did manage to upload one photo. Here’s a pic of all of us gathered around the tree. Enjoy!

'Tis

2008-12-24T12:30:00.003-09:00

Santa’s in Belarus [http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html] and the air here in Rockport is electric. The three girls are helping their mother set the table for our guests - they can smell Christmas coming (and so can the cats). We’re having Justin’s and Jason’s families over for Christmas Eve. Justin is my Poker protégé (that is so much better than me now) while Jason is my Rummy-Work-Spouse. Yet we will have to relinquish our competitive natures in order to celebrate Christmas a day early. Maybe we’ll be able to sneak a game of Mad Gab in after dinner! In any case, I hope everyone is having a spectacular Christmas season, whether you celebrate it or not. Expect loads of pictures and a blog about tomorrow sometime in the future! Go Chargers!

New Blog

2008-12-12T12:24:00.003-09:00

I just wanted to announce that I have another blog that I have started. I will be keeping most of my poker thoughts here: http://cgcook38.blogspot.com/

Top Ten Tips for Avoiding Seasickness

2008-12-07T19:09:00.002-09:00

I work on a boat for a living. This has been the case for nearly seven years of my life. By the time I am retired from the Coast Guard I will have spent a large percentage of my life at sea. In my years on the ocean I’ve had a quite the bout with sea sickness a time or two. I’ve started making a mental list of the techniques I use to combat the worst feeling in the world. There are ten tips I recommend to help you the next time you’re rocking and rolling on the high seas.

Tip #1: Don’t get seasick –
- I know, I know. “Thanks Brandon. That’s bleeping brilliant!” Honestly, my biggest problem with seasickness is avoiding it. I find that when I get seasick I don’t ever feel right again until I am on solid land. That being said I am doing everything imaginable to stay feeling well. I psyche myself out well before the trip, convincing myself that it will take an act of God to get me sick. I also plan out what I will be doing during the rough weather so I don’t ever have to think about how sick I am feeling.

Tip #2: Don’t let the boat tell you how sick you are –
- I have a large mixer in the corner of my galley. Right next to it are 5 cutting boards. When the seas are rough enough these cutting boards flop back and forth between the mixer and the bulkhead. Right underneath it is a large rolling pin on the shelf. Across the way 5 ladles and 8 spoons hang from a bar above the counter. The resulting noise is deafening and coordinated. I know that as soon as I hear the cutting boards and rolling pin I will start getting squeamish. These things remind me of the war that the sea is waging against the floating hunk of steel that is my boat. I do my best to mitigate these things. Visual cues also throw my inner-ear for a loop. On my first boat I looked out of the galley through portals on the Starboard side of the boat. Ocean – sky – ocean – sky – ocean – sky. Yuck.

Tip #3: Attempt to leave nothing to do –
- Mise en Place – Have everything in its place. In the cooking world it means that I do as much prep work as possible ahead of time. The last thing I want to do in rough seas is pipe manicotti shells full of ricotta. Actually, I’ve already done that once. ONCE. If I am feeling well and I run out of things to do, I sit and relax. Others may find it useful to stay busy and keep their mind off of the sea state. If I want to stay busy and I’ve already prepped a meal to the max, I set off prepping the following meal. Or I may decide to do extra cleaning.

Tips #4 and 5: Eat healthy before and during bad weather – Stay hydrated –
- I’m not sure how far I can go into this without being redundant. Eat well so you are full of energy. Being tired doesn’t improve your odds of avoiding seasickness. And staying hydrated is a double bonus – it keeps you feeling well longer AND gives you something to do once you aren’t feeling well. Yuck.

Tip #6: Burping is good –
- The number one sign that I am getting sick is this constant pressure in my upper chest that feels like it’s restricting my esophagus. The number one relief of that feeling is a good belch! So I like to break open a can of soda early on in rough weather. Please note that this technique DOES NOT work for me when I am already queasy.

Tip #7: Wake up with drugs in your system to beat drowsiness –
- I once woke up somewhere near the Cape Cod Canal. We were on our way up from Baltimore and it was about 3am. The seas were awful and it felt like they were driving us around in the trough. I had a couple hours before I was required to be up to cook breakfast, so I jumped up and went to the medicine cabinet. I grabbed some Dramamine and went back to the rack. I woke up nice and refreshed from my power nap with none of the ill side effects of the motion sickness pills. Now if only I could have been ninja enough to avoid the side effects of the pot of boiling water that got underway – that’d be awesome!

Tip #8 - 10: I got lazy, so you get ‘em all at once! –
- The more I can stay horizontal when the seas are rough, the better. Sleep and you may wake up sick, but you won’t actually BE sick while you’re sleeping. Besides, who doesn’t like sleep?
- Stay well below the water line. My galley rolls a lot less than the bridge does. The engineering spaces hardly roll at all compared to the bridge. At times I don’t feel a thing in the galley while the bridge will make me sick.
- Keep cool! Being overheated will lead to puking!! Another great reason to stay hydrated!

And that’s it! These are all of the things that I do to keep from getting sick! Well – besides my typical behavior of doing as little as possible for as long as possible! Everyone is different and it’s important to pay attention to what keeps you well. Good luck!

Sunday Warm Up

2008-12-03T11:16:00.001-09:00

I am playing in a big poker tournament on Sunday the 14th. The $200+15 buy-in Sunday Warm-up offers a guaranteed prize pool of $750,000. Last week the tournament brought in 4,066 players bringing the pool to $874,190. 586 players made the minimum pay-out of $406.61. First place was set to receive $105,716. Wish me luck. If you have PokerStars software and you want to cheer me on, search for CgCook38. The tourney kicks off at 12:45pm ET and hopefully I’ll be at the table for a good long ten hours!

Back to Basics

2008-11-15T07:37:00.005-09:00

With coaching football over for the year I am back to having some spare time. I dove back into programming yesterday. I am messing around with creating tournament director software.

My Little Timer

So far I've figured out how to create a timer that counts down to zero. I'm using Visual C++. I forgot how addicting this stuff is.

Update II - The Season

2008-11-11T14:26:00.014-09:00

In my "Tower"

Our football season was quite a lot of work. It’s always a good experience to come to a small school as a new coach. There is often a lot of responsibility out there for the taking. The coaching staff consisted of five coaches – The head coach acted as offensive coordinator and backs/linebackers coach. We had an assistant head coach who acted as the receivers/defensive backs coach with me as an assistant. Finally we had our defensive coordinator who took on the offensive and defensive lines with one assistant coach.

Two well trained freshmen standing behind "My Line"Our team was the very definition of a young team. Of thirty-some-odd players we had three seniors and two juniors. Our largest class was the freshmen who made up over half of the team. Generally freshmen are assigned to a Junior Varsity or even a freshman team when they show up on a high school practice field. We had no option but to play them at the Varsity level. We actually had quite a few freshmen starters, especially on our special teams.

All of this youth told me a few things before the season started. Even though my heart (and the football fan inside of me) told me we would win every game by a lot, I knew that we would be losing a lot of games. Also, we would have quite a few players who would stop showing up to practice once the losing started. There is just no way that every freshman out there wants to be pounded on by people twice there size and lose every game.The Snow Bowl: One of the most beautiful places to lose four games

I turned out to be partially wrong in the best possible way. We had very few, if any freshmen quit the team. We had two seniors show up late only to quit when they were sure that we were in for it. The freshmen stuck it out through the entire year and I was very proud of them. We ended up losing every game we played against class B varsity teams. We won our first game, a scrimmage against a class C team. After that everything was a terrible loss. The scoreboard always showed a blowout no matter how the game actually went. The problem with young teams is the “big play”. We gave up so many special teams touchdowns, third and fourth down conversions, and long runs for touchdowns. We couldn’t sustain drives on offense due to a series of problems dealing with execution of basic fundamentals – a clear sign of our youth and inexperience. If only I could be here for next year’s team!

Update I - Coaching Again

2008-10-06T17:50:00.002-08:00

I imagine that seven months after my previous post it’s time for an update. I did in fact meet with the Coach back in February. We talked a bit about me, a bit about him, and a lot about Five Town Football and the high school team. I met his son Collin, our sophomore quarterback/free safety. It’s impressive to meet a freshman in high school (at the time) that is bigger than me.

A full six months before the season started, Coach stuck to the basics of our team structure. We were expecting a good number of returning upperclassmen to the mixed varsity/junior varsity squad along with about 15 new freshmen from the feeder middle school team. Our numbers would be near 45 to start the season.

We planned on running a spread offense out of the pistol formation. The pistol is basically a short shotgun. That is, the ball is snapped to the quarterback about 3 yards behind the center instead of 5 yards like the traditional shotgun. Nevada made it famous in college football and you can read up on it on the infamous Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_football_formations#Pistol

The spread offense refers to the scheme that spreads the players out, utilizing the width of the playing field to create seams in the defense. We planned on utilizing both the run and the pass to exploit these seams. Generally a team will use their best athlete that can throw as their spread quarterback (in our case Collin) in order to create an additional running threat. Our defense was going to be a three man front utilizing our returning upperclassmen talent to free up our four linebackers.

Coach and I talked about having me coach the linebackers and quarterbacks/running backs. I have a genuine interest in influencing our linebackers, as they tend to set the tone for the attitude a defensive squad carries into a game. Alas, it was not to be - as the season approached, another coach was unable to commit for the season. I was more needed as a receivers and defensive backs coach.

That’s not the only thing that changed as the season approached. Our athletic director managed to schedule us 8 exhibition games as a class B varsity squad in a trial status. In their final season of play our returning seniors would see games under Friday Night Lights for the first time. This reminds me… much of the expected “returning upperclassmen talent” didn’t return when we started camp on August 18th. We had our work cut out for us.

Coaching Again

2008-02-08T19:16:00.000-09:00

This week I will be meeting with the head coach of the Camden Hills Regional High School football team. I am volunteering to assist the team as a coach. I am extremely excited about this opportunity. My expectation coming in is to learn a lot more about how a high school program is organized. While I am definitely seeking the learning experience, it is important to remember that I will be a coach, and the kids will be seeking to learn from me.

There are some goals that I established for the time that I am helping out, including the off-season.

• Better myself at home, at work, and as a coach everyday
This is something that I’ve already implemented as a daily objective. If you’re not moving up, you’re losing (oh wait, that’s poker).

• Learn the system front and back and never stray from it

From reading books on coaching I have come to two conclusions. The first is that it is possible to win with less talent if you are fundamentally sound, prepared mentally and physically, and you work hard every day. The second is that you won’t win squat with all the talent in the world if your players and coaches don’t buy-in to the system in place (or if you don’t have a system).

• Allow each player to experience success daily

This is probably the best thing that any leader can do - and probably the most neglected approach by leaders. The players need to see that their actions can be successful, that the system can work, and that they can trust the coaches to communicate their shortcomings AND successes to them.

• Seek solutions and not excuses or rationalizations

This has always been my biggest problem in life. I don’t like to deal with problems I am not comfortable with. I tend to latch onto any rationalization and drown myself with it. In situations where I have stepped around excuses I have excelled at life. Also, I don’t want my procrastination or laziness to been seen by those I am trying to influence.

• Show patience and understanding in dealing with all others

If I had a dollar for every boss that failed to show me this, I’d have a lot more debt.

• Always anticipate a win, never accept a loss – expect more

This is nearly hand-in-hand with rationalizing, but slightly different. There is also a big difference between this thought and, say, walking off the field with :01 left in your Super Bowl loss.

Yay, Frickin' Freezin' Cold Wet Lovely Winter

2007-12-08T19:15:00.000-09:00

Winter’s here and I’m determined to have more fun with this one than the last one. Actually, I already have. Here are some things that I’ve done this winter that I didn’t get around to last winter:

- Took the kids out for more than one hour at a time
- Built a snowman
- Drove to Augusta to Christmas shop during “The Season”
- Started tutoring in math locally
- Made a trip to SW Harbor in “potential snow” weather
- Saw Santa delivered in a helicopter

It’s been a great year for us. Enjoy the slideshow =)

Long Trip, Short Walk

2007-10-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

Once again October brought about a long separation from home for me. I missed the trees changing here in Maine as the boat left on the first for a three week trip. Our first stop was New London, CT, home of the Coast Guard Academy, on Tuesday the 2nd. We pulled into the city pier right next to the downtown train station.

After getting most of Wednesday off, our mission was to spend time with the cadets, showing them buoy tender life while gaining perspective on their training. This consisted of long days at work waiting around to give tours, or in my case, cooking a lot. We wrapped this up on Friday afternoon, and a good number of us headed to the campus to watch the Academy Bears football team take on the Fitchburg State Falcons. The game was an absolute treat as 8 of our crewmembers ran the chain gang, and the Bears set the school and conference records for total offensive yards (684). You can read more here http://www.uscgasports.com/content/view/689/76/

On Saturday the 6th we made the 12 hour transit to New York City and its surrounding waterways. We stopped in the East River to decommission a buoy in the shadows of the Chrysler and Empire State Buildings. After snagging the buoy we made our way to Bayonne, NJ – our homeport for the remaining time of this trip, moored up outboard of the Katherine Walker.

Although it’s right around the corner from the Statue of Liberty, the Coast Guard moorings in Bayonne are not all that fascinating. The water looks funny, it’s surrounded by cargo facilities, and there are landfills everywhere (including one cleverly disguised as a links style golf course). However …no, that’s pretty much it for Bayonne.

After an eventfully uneventful week (lots of stuff I’d rather forget, including a 5am tour of Chinatown and a hospital emergency room), we pulled into Manhattan on the 12th, a Friday. We stayed at a cruise ship pier near 12th Ave & W 52nd St. I stood duty that night, and it was a ghost ship. Nearly everyone was off the boat, and no one returned until well after my 8pm-12am watch ended.

On Saturday I wanted to get out and stretch my legs (but not so much spend my money). After cooking breakfast I set out with John and Justin. We wanted to see the World Trade Center and Ground Zero. What an incredible walk! I was floored at how much I enjoyed every aspect of it. We passed a huge post office, portions of Times Square, a street fair, Madison Square Garden, a zillion people and pets, 6 zillion pizza places, Greenwich Village, The Bull, and of course Ground Zero, which was heartbreaking.

Five miles we totaled as we arrived at the Staten Island ferry terminal and Battery Park. We rode the subway back. John and I got off at Canal Street for a proper tour of China Town – the not-5am version. Justin was tired and rode back alone, only to make a wrong turn and walk all the way to the East Side and back. After Canal Street John and I went to the boat for free food, and then I went off to Times Square.

Times Square was a let down of sorts. Too many people were gawking at everything like I was. The highlight was seeing the video of Geoffrey the Giraffe outside of Toys R Us. I had a discussion with some of the shortest of our crewmembers the previous week about how they thought he resembled me. They said it was the eyes; I was convinced it was my relative towering stature. They were right – he’s not that tall for a giraffe.

Our day wrapped up nicely. I had walked over eight miles and spent a whopping $24 thanks to the subway and three of Geoffrey cross-dressing as the Statue of Liberty for the girls. The next morning we needed to be out of the way, so we got underway at 0530. We went back to Bayonne for fire school after a stop to see the real Statue. I got lost in Staten Island with a group from the boat. We found a bar though. On Saturday the 20th we started the 36-hour trip home, arriving after 1am on Monday. And that was our trip, minus the anchoring, the fans, the imploding A/C, the floating vinegar, the holding position, the spilled fruit punch, the missing fuel sheet, the free t-shirts, the Mexican, Asian, couple of white guys, and the molester, and the HD PS3.

I took a couple of pics, but I left the camera at work. So here’s something I missed: costume tryouts -

Goodnight

2007-08-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

Today I worked hard. I had duty last night, so the day started for me at 0330. Both of my watchstanders happened to be my roommates, so I woke up when St. Mo woke up Butch. Then I stayed awake for their near five minute conversation. My actual day started when Butch woke me at 7am. After getting suited up, I went to make a round, finalize the logs, and hand over the watch.

Promptly relieved at 8:45, I changed into my civvies and headed to the grocery store. I had prepared a list for our week’s worth of food yesterday, so this trip shouldn’t be any sweat. I took care of the dry items in no time. I even fit them into one cart. And I only had to go backwards once (Hannaford puts their stupid baked beans on the stupid wrong side of the stupid wrong aisle).

I turned in the second and third cart in record time, spending less time on those two than at least one young couple spent haggling over their first. The fourth cart was nothing but frozen items: ice cream, garlic bread, and very few frozen vegetables (the new captain is adamant about fresh and fancy). Checkout was a gloriously quick 35 minutes. It was so fast that I barely got to marvel at how efficient my cart packing was. My 4 carts turned into 6 carts of bagged groceries. The damage was a mere $1190. It should last our 24 about 4 days.

Having left the boat at 9am, I wanted to arrive back with the groceries at 12. As I started up the van I glanced at the clock. 11:15. Amazing! Two hours and 15 minutes for four carts of groceries! I had the entire load (thanks to today’s duty section) on the boat and put away by 11:45.

Home by 12, I started in on mowing the lawn. I only massacred 3 bees and 2 frogs (I thought those things could jump farther!). A quick shower and I went back to the grocery store to tackle a new recipe for Mary: Mango Martini a la Applebee’s. The liqueurs were stowed and I was on the couch minutes before Tiger’s 3pm tee-time. I watched most of the final round of his 13th major championship before heading out to my family’s cookout in the front yard. Thank God for DVR, because I was able to pause live TV and come in to watch Tiger’s shots (which is all I EVER watch golf for).

The cookout was grand. Afterwards I did the easy part of teaching Abby how to ride a bike. That is, I pretended to hold on to her while she did exactly what Mary and Mim had already told her how to do. She can now go from a stop all the way down the driveway and then use her brakes to stop herself before ending up on Route 17.

Once the bugs realized how good of a marinade we had on, we moved inside. Now the kids are in bed and I can start my day off. Or I can go to bed. It’s late.

Casa

2007-07-13T19:57:00.000-08:00

I love having family in town. I love hosting people at my house. I remember in college my mother bought a hot plate so I could mix up hot chocolate in the dorms during the anticipated cold Indiana winter. I was so excited to be able to invite my good friends over to enjoy a cup with me. It was thrilling, anticipating their arrival.

Visits were always electrifying as a child too. My Grandma and Grandpa Watson used to travel into town in their oversized RV. In my earliest memories they would stay at the KOA campground. Swimming pool, recreation center, and playground – what an adventure! At the house we would enjoy rolled tacos from Lolita’s whenever my Grandpa “cooked”. Eventually we would all sit around and enjoy my Grandfather’s best anecdotes and road stories. Sometimes we would be privy to his sea stories from life on the submarine. He was always the best at telling jokes. His sense of humor was so refined. At times he would pause at the end of a joke, his hands frozen where he had delivered the punch line, waiting for the subtlety to sink in.

We lived on the corner of Montclair and Melrose in Chula Vista. Our main thoroughfare to either freeway and to downtown CV was L Street, straight down Melrose. One day Grandpa was giving me a ride to the movies. Perhaps it was the re-release of the original Star Wars, before that crappy prequel. We were driving on Melrose, coming up the hill from Inkopah. Grandpa asked for directions. I told him to go straight to L and take a left. It took me a full minute to realize why he was pretending to be so biblically offended.

The Coast Guard has shown me more of how much I love hosting people at my house. In Sitka it was poker games. Any time I have ever sat down to play a game of poker I have sat down with my stomach full of butterflies. The only evasion of this problem has come from preparation as a host. My favorite lonely pastime is brewing coffee and sorting poker chips. I truly enjoy having visitors comfortable in my home. Here in Rockport that translates into Super Bowl parties, cookouts, and Wii Bowling Tournaments. Well, not so much that last one… yet!

So as Mike leaves to head back to work, I realize how incredibly short this packed summer will be – how I need to treasure every moment of my time with family and my new friends. I am so excited to see how much fun the remainder will be, as I am having the time of my life.

The New England Experience

2007-06-15T04:29:00.001-08:00

We had guests at the house recently. My brother Erick was in town. The kids loved him and called him Uncle Ick (well, the shorter ones did anyway). His visit was overlapped by my parents, Bill and Jane. We tried to give them as much New England as we could.

Here's Bill with a 3.5 lb Lobster and a Sam Adams.

We ran out to Kevin and Jodie’s to see Owl’s Head Light. Since we know the “keepers” we got to show them inside.

Then we showed them around the Mighty Warship Abbie Burgess.

Later we ran to Acadia on Mount Desert Island:

Wii pretty much did everything that New England has to offer… except Candlepin Bowling. Wii hate Candlepin Bowling. Instead Wii found a different form of bowling. One the kids could enjoy.

Is it Friday yet?

2007-05-25T18:32:00.001-08:00

I nearly fell asleep getting my hair cut today. I worked only about five hours this morning. This doesn’t usually wear me down so much. However, we almost got the day off, so the five hours seemed like an eternity. Not to mention that I had only seen my children for about two hours this week at that point. My total sleep hours from Monday night totaled about 22. This doesn’t count the times I fell asleep on the couch trying to spend time with Mary.

Come to think of it, the boat worked more buoys than my 22 hours. I think we did 23 this week. That includes the one we accidentally worked. While we were hauling chain on Grave’s #13, we snagged the chain from the 1992 version of Grave’s. After 15 years sitting at the bottom, that thing was ripe. It still is. When we pulled in yesterday, Deck Force parked it over by the Thunder Bay. It smelled even worse in the 70 degree sun at 7am this morning. Thank God the wind picked up eventually.

I had duty on Tuesday. I only had my signature twice in the logs because we didn’t get in until 9pm. It was my shortest duty day ever. Keven is still breaking in as a watchstander. If I had a long week, he had an unbearable week. He had duty on Sunday and Wednesday, and he’ll have it again tomorrow. He also had to learn how to cook all week. He’s progressing well. Thursday night he served his first meal that was entirely his. It was Baked Ziti (or, more properly a Fake-Baked Ziti as Rachel Ray would put it). He did a bang-up job and the crew loved it.

One thing I have noted as Keven’s been working to learn his job: staying out of the way to let people learn can be extremely difficult when quality might suffer. The last thing I want for the crew is for them to work a 10-hour-pre-dinner day, come in to a crappy, cold, or late meal, and then go out for another 4 hours of work. The last thing I want for Keven is to feel like crap after it happens. But this is all part of setting his feet on fire; he needs the experience, he needs the confidence, and he especially needs the built in pressure that the meal hours naturally create.

Meanwhile I need to have patience and discipline. I have to keep out of the way most of the time to let him work through things. I also need to step in before he gets crushed by an experience that would retract from his development. It’s a very fine line. I imagine this is what a baseball manager might go through with a pitcher struggling on the mound. When do you pull him when waiting to long might destroy his confidence, and acting to quickly might do the same?

Jalapeno Jack and the Great Day

2007-05-04T18:31:00.000-08:00

Today was going to be a good ending to a good week. Heading into this morning, I had a great feeling of excitement. I finished week 7 yesterday in school. I have two weeks of work in front of me (most of it done already) before I get my degree. Also, Keven was working breakfast for the first time on his own; I had 45 minutes of extra sleep because of it. This Friday was going to be a morale softball game with the Tackle guys. So after breakfast, I had only shopping and paperwork on my task list. I was more excited about today than I have been about any work day in a long time.

The morale event was cancelled almost immediately. Two of our three department heads were not onboard with having their people leave an hour early on a Friday. With only about seven people playing from our crew (the Tackle has about seven total crew members), there was no way we would be able to field a game. So I ordered tuna steaks from Jess’ Market. As soon as I did, plans changed and lunch was off again. I had to settle into some paperwork and wait for everyone to figure out what the hell was actually going on.

Paperwork was the one thing that went as planned today. I had a lot of issues come up in my recent compliance inspection. As of today, each one of them is resolved. I would actually go as far as to say that it was overly-resolved today. I don’t want any of these issues to ever arise again, so the last two weeks I have been organizing something that I have become somewhat of a specialist in lately: automation. Today was the icing on the cake, and it felt great putting it together.

We finally got the okay to cook lunch on time, and I ran off with Keven to pick up groceries. We went to Jess’ for the Tuna. It was $14.99 per pound. That’s more than the lobsters cost. Speaking of lobsters, I showed Keven how to properly play with the live lobsters in the tank. Then we went to Hannaford, and Keven had some beautiful woman ask for his phone number. No, I’m not kidding.

Back on the boat, we started chopping veggies. We had a lot to do. Today’s menu: Grilled Margarita Marinated Tuna Steaks topped with Fresh Salsa, Black Bean Salad, and Southwestern Corn. Keven started working on the salad, and I got to work on dessert and the marinade. Somewhere in the middle, Keven started in on the Jalapenos. Somewhere in the middle of that, the Jalapenos decided to squirt him in the eyes. He tried the classic rub-the-bad-stuff-out-of-my-eye technique. After 15 minutes of flushing his eyes in the emergency eye washing station, he was ready to return to work.

After the first aid ordeal, Keven and I were looking at about 50 minutes to complete a meal that would take 45 minutes. It was great to have him in a situation like this in his first week; we were rushing to complete a meal that we had no intention of cooking at the start of the day. We blitzed through it, the fish was excellent, and the overall meal was the best I had cooked without Christine in a very long time. Keven got his hands (and his eyes) in it quite a bit. More importantly, he learned how hectic in can get in a galley when it hits the fan, and the importance of being prepared. This was by far the best week I have had at this duty station.

Alas, that was not the perfect ending to a perfect day; as I was writing this, the Sabres tied the Rangers with 7 seconds left in the third. In overtime, the healthy scratch from game 4 put the Sabres up 3 games to 2 in the best of 7 series. Go Sabres!

The New Kid

2007-04-29T04:36:00.000-08:00

The new kid arrived at work on Friday. I use the term “kid” loosely, as he is nearly 30-years-old. But he’s new, and they always seem like kids when their new. I think it’s the apprehension. He was in the Army before, so he graduated school as an E-4. He’s originally from L.A. and he’s a big time surfer. His accent would tell you if I didn’t. Much like Keanu Reeves in any movie since “Bill and Ted’s…” you keep expecting him to say “Dude” every time he talks. His name is Keven.

He had never been on a ship before Friday. He also has very little in the way of cooking experience. These two things tell me that a) we have a lot of work in front of us, and b) I am going to find out exactly what kind of boss I am.

I briefed him on roles and expectations, the ship’s routine, and my philosophies about how the galley will be run. I’ve covered some of these things in earlier blogs, but here is what I highlighted:

1. Customer Service – Our ultimate mission in the galley, it’s why we exist onboard. This covers everything from serving good food to creating an uplifting atmosphere.

2. Time Management – The amount of success we have in the galley depends heavily on our skills at time management. I am a proponent of getting as much done as possible as early as possible. This leads to less panic when it becomes crunch-time, allowing for more quality in a safer environment. I’ve always been a fan of less cuts, burns, and bruises.

3. Focused Learning – Here’s the thing: I need this kid to be able to do my job – almost completely – before I can go on leave. And for the first few weeks, he won’t be able to do much of anything on his own. That is fine, and I should expect as much from anyone new. In order to get him where he’s going, I’ll be tasking him with jobs that I would normally (at least) assist with. But he’ll be on his own, with me in the general vicinity. This doesn’t mean that I’ll be kicked back on the mess deck napping [even though I often dream of such things and, most days, would absolutely love to. I like naps.]. I’ll find something for myself. Helm/lookout and Quartermaster qualifications are pending for me. Basically, I need to get this guys feet wet for a couple of weeks, and then I need to set fire to them after that [figuratively Mom, I promise!].

4. Goal Setting – I want to find out what he wants out of this job. Once we get that out of him, it’s just a matter of picking them off of a list. If he sees these things accomplished, his confidence and ownership will rise, and I’ll have a really easy job… again.

I am so freaking excited about this. The whole reason I picked this job was the potential for developing someone brand new. It’s coming at a time where I am finally “settling down” from our transfer that happened oh-so-long ago.

Yay, School

2007-03-29T17:12:00.000-08:00

Another great discussion at school:

Instructor:
I agree. You make good points here. How would you approach designing something so sophisticated like a Chess game or Poker?

Me:
Not that I have ever thought about this before… ;-)

I don’t know what goes into a good Chess AI, as I don’t know much about the game (except the rules).

As far as poker, sophistication would be the key. I think this is why it is never done right. It would take a lot of time and energy (money) away from things like graphics to get a poker game right. You have to pick and choose when you make games sometimes, and I think that developers of single-player poker games have always been fighting uphill against the online poker community. If I want to play poker for no money and I am looking for realism, why wouldn’t I pursue an online game at one of the .net sites that are all play money?

That being said, I think that a successful poker game will rely more on a good “story” as opposed to a believable experience. What I am thinking of is somewhere between Madden’s Superstar mode (where the player manages certain attributes for the avatar so that it has a tendency to perform a certain way during gameplay AND simulation), and the NES’s Vegas Dream, where certain events outside of your avatar’s control influence the “action”.
The AI would ideally need to mimic the spontaneity of real-life players without being cursed with “stupid” decisions that are supposed to be signs of an “aggressive” player. The problem with today’s games is that players expect Gus Hansen to be modeled in the game world as a guy who will push “any two cards”. Any person who plays and pays attention to poker knows that Mr. Hansen takes more into account than just that. He takes in evidence from his environment: the other players’ signs of strength/weakness, his cards, and his position at the table relative to the “dealer”. When he pushes mediocre cards, he usually knows he can push a person to fold.

I learned about the way Lionhead Studios pursued AI in Black and White, and I like their approach to it. [http://www.gameai.com/blackandwhite.html]Basically, their creatures “learned” from the user how to act. They would basically rate each experience in a database of ratings.

Here’s the basic principle:
Eat a rock – “ouch”, -1 point.
Eat a sheep – “tasty”, +1 point, “master slapped me afterwards”, -2 points.
Eat a guy from the other tribe – “yum”, +1 point, “master scratched my ear”, +2 points

I can relate this to poker like this:
Pre-flop hand, points:
A-A - +20
K-K - +16
Q-Q - +16
J-J - +12
A-K suited - +12
A-K off-suit - +11
A-J off suit - +6
Q-J off suit - +6
J-T suit - +8
2-3 suited - -10
2-9 off - -27

You can also have number ratings for things like aggression, player-reading, position play, odds knowledge, etc. For example, an aggressive player might raise with the more mediocre hands before the flop occasionally. Any sort of resistance and he is willing to drop the hand unless there is major improvement after the flop.

Also, priorities can be assigned to different aspects of the game. A player with high odds knowledge might count on his player reading skills more because that is his style of play.

Obviously this would take a lot of work, trial, and error. You would have to do a lot of tinkering to get the bots to be that nice mix of computer logic (which is a desirable poker trait), and spontaneity. I think it would be worth it though. This would also prove to be something that you can have “learning” AI with. Whether in a long tournament or a season, an AI bot can learn a little bit about what a player does in a given situation, and factor that information into its database.

…Service Specialist, Part III

2007-03-17T09:07:00.000-08:00

Impact

They always say that the food has a large impact on the morale of the crew. Wrong. The Cooks have a large impact on the morale of the crew. This is by far the most important part of our job, and it’s the key to pleasing all the people all the time. It is also the most rewarding. By being able to shake off the stresses of the day when it matters most - when your customers are taking a break - you can have a mammoth impact on the morale of the entire unit. Mediocre food will maintain.

This is nearly impossible for some people, and I think it is why my rate is at the forefront of suicide, divorce, and alcoholism. When the complaints of others hit close to home, it’s really easy to jump in and start whining too. There’s a time for misgivings to be aired. I usually find a close friend that I can go bug in his office, when he’s trying to work. But a cook needs to stay above the fray as much as possible. Play the neutral, “I’m here to listen” role. Actually, it’s exactly like the role the bartender plays in modern day fiction. A little well timed advice here and there goes a long way.

By not jumping off of the bandwagon of hatred and discontent, a cook gives off nothing but foul mood. Foul mood begets foul mood. It’s so easy to build off of negativity. As sarcastic and quick witted as most crews are, a small flicker of grumpiness can quickly turn into a raging forest fire of disgruntlement. Crew members who came to the galley to unwind just get more wound up. Eventually this will snap back at the cook who is throwing fuel on the flames. It’s inevitable. It’s expected. It’s detrimental. Foul mood begets foul mood. Disgruntled cooks cook disgruntled food. An “I don’t care” meal is so much worse than mediocre. It’s worse than disgusting.

Energetic and optimistic. I strive for these ideals daily. The impact is felt throughout my cutter. Meeting people at the door with that attitude makes everyone circle the wagons for each other. Instead of grumpiness being met with unrelenting sarcasm, it is simply stepped around with caution. Respect flies around the room as if it actually belongs.

It’s amazing how people will jump onboard a program that seems to work. Positive moods are just as popular as the negative. It’s remarkable the reaction you get the first time you clear the plate of someone who had every intention of getting up to do it himself. The initial argument gives way to the fact that he can now sit and talk longer with his friends, or catch just a little more of The Price is Right before heading back to work, or home for the day. I always play it off that I am just trying to get the dishes done so I can scat, but that smile you get back… Or when I you bring up fried egg sandwiches to the watchstanders while your patrol boat’s on a night time SAR case. The giddiness they show when you waltz up there smelling of sausage and American cheese….

I may be slightly narcissistic, but all I really hope for in life is to have an impact of the people around me, to have them remember me when I am not around. No other job affords me the opportunity that this one does. That’s why I am a cook. That’s why Service will always be a part of my job description.

…Service Specialist, Part II

2007-03-16T10:19:00.001-08:00

The Heart

Every boat I have ever been on – every diesel-stinking, pitching-rolling, gut-busting, rib-bruising, salt-spray-settling-in-your-razor-burn boat I have ever been on has one thing in common: The galley and mess deck are right smack in the middle. Now this may only be a Coast Guard thing, but I think they do it for a reason. The galley is the center of the heart for any unit. Everyday the mess deck becomes the escape for every single non-cook crew member. At least once a day each person may choose to walk through the line, pick up their food, sit down and eat it. Through the whole process they are getting a hugely critical release from the everyday stresses of whatever their job entails. Even if they have to take their food off the mess deck, or if they take a box lunch with them away from the unit, there is always a measure of solace in that food.

Every boat I have ever been on has something else in common. A cook reports aboard and is told the same two things by the command. They always say that the food has a large impact on the morale of the crew, and that the cooks have a thankless job. I never understood these things (and I am not sure they did, either). First of all, I am thanked numerous times a day. I am thanked so much that I get bored with my response to it. Almost without exception every single crew member will thank you at least once per meal. It is simply because they are told the same thing when they get to a unit: “No one ever thanks the cooks, so you better say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ every time. After all, we don’t want our food to taste like Scope.”

I once cooked potatoes on my first buoy tender. They were roasted red potatoes. Now potatoes were something that I always hit out of the park, and my first trip on this boat I had the crew chant Three-Cheers because I didn’t serve Golf-Ball-Chunked-Mashed-Potatoes to them (apparently this was a problem before my arrival). These red potatoes were not my ordinary potatoes. Apparently I stayed to watch the Cubs game too long and these were more the texture of red apples instead. They were rock-hard undercooked. My department head walked up, as he always did, to thank me.

“How were the potatoes sir?” like I didn’t know.

“They were great Brandon!” trying to pretend like his jaw wasn’t sore.

Now I am not trying to say that no matter how lousy the food is, the crew won’t react negatively. The same guy that lead the crew in Three-Cheers also lead them in throwing of overcooked chicken back into the galley at me once….ONCE. The fact is that there are bound to be numerous occasions when negative reactions are bountiful. That’s the chemistry that is created when you put wound up people in a place where they can unwind. Their reaction to the environment – whether it be the food, the mood, the other crewmembers, or the TV – is clearly going to be over the top at times. It’s the moments when this boisterous activity is met with bad food that people remember as the cooks “really gettin’ it”. Thankless job? Hardly. It’s just rough and tumble sometimes.

Now for the morale – and this is where my answer always lies. Why am I a cook? Why am I still a cook? Why am I a Food Service Specialist?

Everyday people break for lunch. They file through that line to unwind. On a boat they also stop by the galley door to see how the cooks are doing occasionally. It’s bound to happen; the galley’s in the center of the boat, remember? Most mess decks also, even though discouraged in regulations, act as a main passageway through the ship. What’s for lunch? What time’s lunch? What’s dessert? What’s the soup? Can I have a cookie? Can I have the cookie dough!?!?! The milk machine’s empty.

Everyday people break for lunch, but the cooks never do. They simply can’t break for lunch. Even though they may sit down to eat, they never really leave their workspace. Nor do they step away from those they work with. So no matter how their day is going, they can’t simply go off to lunch to recharge or relax.

…Service Specialist, Part I

2007-03-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

Argumentative

One of the reasons I like sports so much is the overwhelming urge that comes over fans to discuss its happenings on an everyday basis. Yesterday part of our duty section was watching Pardon the Interruption on ESPN on the mess deck. The junior member of our group, no doubt disgusted with the argumentative nature of a subject that was pointless in her mind, asked us how we can stand to watch a show like that. The question struck me as funny because the show was covering basketball at the time, and even though I don’t ever watch basketball I was glued to the bantering.

The reason shows like PTI and Around the Horn are successful is the same reason that news shows are so successful: displaying opposing viewpoints on a topic allows people to jump on a side and feel passionate about the topic. Sports provides an even more charged atmosphere as you add in the good-guy/bad-guy mentality that naturally comes from having a favorite team or player. The innate counterpart of a favorite is something disliked or even hated. Pile on to this a rabid excitement that usually accompanies “life-long” fans and you have a recipe for great conversations into the night about SEC football vs. Big Ten football – or, Yankees: Dynasty or Best Money Can Buy – or, should Ryan Leaf have been drafted before Payton Manning. Okay maybe the last subject would never come up. You know what I am getting at.

The fact is that any amount of logical argument or debate over a subject will make the participants, at the most, more knowledgeable of the details. At the least, it makes them more aware of the topic itself. It is the same reason that 6 of my last 9 weeks of SQL and RDBM class dealt with planning and not coding. Planning also makes its contributors more intimate with details and aware of the situation.

I was asked once why I became a cook. This question comes up quite a bit, actually. The response is usually a well rehearsed “Well, I did the whole Mac & Cheese and Top Ramen thing pretty well… and I used to serve people hot chocolate in college…”. This particular time was different. This time it was with the inference that I am above this job – that I am smart enough to be anything, so why this? Let me break it down for you:

At its core, and in its generally perceived state, a Food Service Specialist has a very simple job: put out decent quality food on time, clean up, and go home. I can’t put it any more mundanely simple than that. Now let me tell you what I do.

I come in to work early – it’s not always as early as the horror stories claim either. There’s a rough sketch of a plan when I get there. A finite amount of meals need to be prepped and served before the day is up. Recipes may be needed for these meals. There is a certain amount of food that may (or may not) need to be procured. Cleaning needs to get done. Paperwork that tracks all of this will need to be updated. From the moment I wake up, and sometimes from the previous day, I am working through all of these details, trying to picture how I will pick through these various tasks. Mind you, this is not a dwelling on the details, but merely a constant ambient thought of things that must be done.

Early in my cooking days when paperwork and procurement were not a part of my daily routine, most of my planning and thought came from recipes. I have to get this item in the oven by this time, which means I need to start prepping it at this time, which means I have to stop watching the Cubs game at 3:30. My focus on planning in my recent career springs from two places. First, I have a need for survival. Once the day starts there is a pending list of quandaries that will be encountered. Whether it be from missing brown sugar, a dropped bottle of cooking wine, or 8-12 foot seas, there is always something that comes up requiring me to know what to do next. By planning ahead – or rather, by knowing the details as a result of planning ahead, I can use my built in problem-solving, crisis-management machine to work things out.

Second, somewhere along the line, (and I blame this on FS1 Faria, a handful of non-rates, and a spackling of Boatswains Mates) I developed a sense of ownership over my work. At what point this took over for my laziness as the controlling factor in my work ethic, I’m not exactly sure. The fact is, I can’t stand to have my food suck. I need to have it be great. People say you can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time. Bullshit. That’s like saying I can’t get a 100 on a medical inspection. Maybe they should reword that to be a little more half-full. You can’t please all the people all the time, but you damn sure better be trying if you’re their cook.

End It All

2007-02-27T16:49:00.000-09:00

It’s tremendously sickening. I can’t stand it, and I wish it would just end all together. Each day it scratches my nerves and makes my insides flip over. I simply cannot take any more. If I didn’t only have three months of school before my degree I might quit right now and never go back. I hate it.

Right now I am in Ethics class (3 hrs) and SQL and Relational Database Management Systems (9hrs). Ethics is okay. I am learning some things. It’s important to remember that an ethics class isn’t like a church sermon; they don’t tell you what is right or wrong. As a matter of fact, they almost tell you that nothing is right or wrong. The author of this text is pretty adamant about pointing out that she is not attempting to do that. http://www.amazon.com/Moral-Story-Introduction-Ethics/dp/0767429109

The discussions are also okay. They were really good early on. I got in a huge argument with someone (we’ll call him Cooper) over Andrew Carnegie. The discussion was about whether we thought he was an altruist or an egotist. Cooper had the notion that he was an egotist, but all he cited was Carnegie’s trouble with unions, specifically the Homestead Strike of 1892. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Carnegie#1892:_Homestead_Strike

The problem I had with his post wasn’t that he was necessarily wrong. He was simply stating what every other classmate was stating. Since the Homestead Strike (sometimes seen as a lockout and not a strike) was made against Carnegie’s business, and since strikers died in the incident, Carnegie must have been driven to succeed at the cost of others’ lives. I struck against Cooper with all I was worth because he made more sense of this slippery slope argument than anyone else. I had a very strong urge to show the class that not everyone who is rich is also evil.

I am good at arguing. Ask any one of my friends who have “had it up to here” with my stubbornness. Ask that guy at work who now knows that Carmello Anthony led the NBA in scoring when he wasn’t elected to the All-Star game, even though I don’t follow basketball.

So I struck against Cooper. And I won. Anytime I get someone to point out that Mussolini, Stalin, and Castro were doing something right, I win. I had some really good points that centered on the fact that Carnegie publicly supported unions, and that he was out of town (home in Scotland) when Homestead took place. http://ksghome.harvard.edu/~phall/05.%20Wealth.pdf They didn’t exactly have the modern rush back in a jet when you get an email saying something’s wrong ability back then.

After a brutal week 4, I have simply not been generating any responses to my posts in other discussions. It’s my own fault because of my arrogant slamming of Cooper in such an efficient manner. No responses make my respond once by Wednesday and twice more by Sunday requirement extremely difficult.

But that’s not why I hate school. I get sick of posting in every class by week 6 anyway.

No, the reason I hate school is my Database class. By Sunday I will have had to post on these topics 24 times. Please keep in mind that I have ZERO database management experience, and that in week one I posted ALL of my ideas about why good design is important, and bad/no design is bad. Enjoy:

Week 1: “…give us a short background of your experiences.”, “…post your thoughts about why database design is so important.”

Week 2: “How can better database design assure accurate information…?”

Week 3: “Please, share with us one or more of your experiences with bad database design (no normalization)...”

Week 4: “…give us an idea of what you believe to constitute good database design… Please, share a few personal experiences and/or observations...”

Week 5: “…please give us a short background of your experiences with normalization…, Please share a few real-life examples.”

Week 6: “Describe the importance of creating the physical database properly from the database design…”

Week 8: “…please elaborate on the pitfalls of creating a database or a system without a plan in place”, “…backing up your idea with real life examples when a plan was, or wasn’t used, and what happened to that project...”

The Rhinoceros and the Savanna

2007-02-04T09:13:00.000-09:00

Recently I had to write a fable for Ethics class.

Here's the assignment: Project 1 requires you to develop and write your own fable. A fable is a short story that is used to teach a lesson about morals or values. The fable usually has animal characters that speak and act like humans.

The Rhinoceros and the Savanna
On a hot sunny day in the African savanna, a young white rhinoceros named Marie sat in the shade of a rustling tree. The breeze blowing from the East did little to cool her thick grey skin; it carried only hot air to her. Her belly grumbled with a great hunger, yet she had no desire to rise up and start grazing on the crunchy, dried grass. She glanced over toward the tree line. The family of wild dogs was stirring in the cool temperatures. Her friend Elizabeth was prancing around barking at her younger sister.
Suddenly Elizabeth caught Marie’s gaze. Her mood instantly changed and she sprinted over to the shade tree. “Oh great,” Marie muttered to herself. “Why aren’t you eating? The grass is long today, and the hot wind is blowing!” Elizabeth was obviously upset at Marie. A Great White Rhino had an obligation to the creatures of the savanna to keep the grass short. Without the rhino a fire would easily whip through and ignite the dry timbers of the woodlands.
“I’m too tired, and it’s so hot! I’d rather just lay here and sleep if it’s all the same. Besides, I’m not the only one who can keep the grass short. Why don’t you eat the grass?” Marie watched as a dejected Elizabeth wandered back toward the tree line. Sure enough she started eating grass along the way. Her sharp teeth were meant for eating meat. She didn’t have the wide mouth with large lips like Marie, an animal that was perfectly suited for grazing on the flowing grass.
Eventually Elizabeth drifted under another tree, a little closer to the woodlands. She lay down and crossed her paws, her stomach feeling horrible from all of the grass her poor body had consumed. After glancing over at Marie she laid her head on her paws and let out a little whimper. Her eyes settled on a small boy from a nearby human tribe that was playing with some branches in the grass next to the Rhino.
The boy was young for a human. She had seen him before, being scolded by his mother while throwing rocks at nearby wildebeests. Elizabeth thought to her self, are those branches on fire? Sure enough, the boy had managed to start a fire and now was trying to cook a snake. When he finished cooking it, he ran the snake – still skewered by a branch – into the woodland. Elizabeth noticed that his fire was still burning, but her stomach hurt, and she was still upset that Marie was not doing her job. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
With a hot East wind blowing, the fire didn’t just stay put. Eventually an ember ignited a blade of already dry grass. Quickly, the flames zipped up underneath the tree that Marie was resting under. They nipped at her heals, heating the armor that her thick skin provided. “Fire! Help!” Marie quickly hoped up and started stomping the grass with her massive, flat feet. The flames darted from underneath her and raced for the tree line, and the family of wild dogs.
Hearing cries for help, Elizabeth hoped up and started howling for her family. Seeing the white rhino stomping out the flames, she was encouraged. She raced toward Rose, an enormous African Elephant that was eating near the tree line. Seeing the flames, Rose reacted before Elizabeth could warn her. She sounded an alarm and raced to help stomp out the flames. More elephants and rhinos came upon hearing the great fuss. Together with the other, smaller animals, they managed to stomp out the fire before it touched the precious woodlands.
Elizabeth walked toward Marie, who was hanging her horned head in shame. “I’m sorry Elizabeth; I should have been working today.” Elizabeth licked Marie’s face. “It’s okay. We’re all safe now,” She reassured. Rose strolled up and laid her trunk on Marie’s back. “Remember,” she advised, “Never expect someone else to do a job happily when you are unwilling to do it yourself.”

From the Author
As this is an original work of fiction, there were no citations. However I drew inspiration from many sources. For more information on:
Rhinoceros Legends
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros#Legends
White Rhino
http://www.rhinos-irf.org/rhinoinformation/whiterhino/index.htm
Savannas and their neighboring woodlands
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savanna
Wild Dogs
http://www.zoolex.org/zoolexcgi/view.py?id=511
African Elephants
http://elephant.elehost.com/About_Elephants/about_elephants.htm#AfricaElephant

Starting Linebacker

2007-01-04T19:19:00.000-09:00

I started my pursuit of knowledge for coaching linebackers in football recently. I got a book from my Dad for Christmas. Coaching Linebackers: By the Experts from Coaches Choice. It features a bible compiled from various coaches throughout the NCAA including Wisconson's Barry Alvarez and Jerry Sandusky from Penn State (aka "LineBacker U").

I realized right away that I lack a lot of the very basics of football knowledge. The book started talking about "a 9 and a 5 technique, and the nose guard is in the 1 gap on the strongside". What?? I figured out the 1 gap on the strongside, but I always thought that defenses called it the Strongside A Gap. And 5 technique?! I am lost.

So I hopped on Google. I found out that the gap numbers are actually used for the alignment of defensive players. If I have a nose tackle in the 1 gap on the strongside, he is lined up on the center, but shaded to the strongside (side of the tightend) gap between the center and guard. The gaps are indeed lettered A, B, and C, and are used to assign responsibility, and not alignment. Here's a MS Paint Original Diagram -

The only thing I can figure for a "9 technique" is that the outer-most alignment must default to a nine technique. On the weakside above, where the 5 should be would actually be a 9. On the strong side, the 7 would become a 9. I am not to sure on this, but it seems to add up.

Once you know where your D-line is going to line up, it seems easy to coach the linebackers on what needs to be filled. If we have 4 D-Linemen at the 9-5-1 strong and 3 weak, we will have the strong side B and weak side A and contain(9 or C??) gaps uncovered. Another wondrous piece for you:

I am not sure if this is a legitimate formation or not, but you can see how the linebackers need to adjust according to their reads at the snap. A strongside run would bring this Middle LB into the strong B gap. What reads these linebackers have and how to train them to react to these reads I don't know yet. That's for another day.

Brandon

Edit 1/8/2007:

So this might be the actual numbering that the book was using. Odds on the left side, evens on the right, with 9 technique representing a "contain" outer most rush. Not quite sure though.